An Inch Closer
by Abdullahsaurus
Summary: What does a damaged organ do? How does it affect the application of a seal? The answer is absolutely anything, death or dimension-hopping included. Naruto suspects that seeing people's health bars floating above their heads wasn't entirely normal, but no one needed to know right? Gamer!Naruto
1. Conception

_"In the beginning, we were one; the Log, a God tree on Earth"_

\- The Book of Log

* * *

 **C1: Conception**

 **Beta Reader: Izaranna**

 **Cover art Creator: Kira015 (Adapted)**

* * *

I could see.

I could smell.

I could taste.

I could hear.

But I could not touch.

I looked around and stared at the world around me—

Innumerable _others_.

They were all the same, but different.

Many were blond and an equal amount was red.

Some were male; others female.

Most were animals, the rest were human.

The one thing we all shared was power.

* * *

It started and we began running. What started was irrelevant because I could not lose this.

I knew that my life was at stake.

 **KABOOM**

Half of us were gone. A large one was gaining the lead.

We were what we would become, however, we first have to win this to reach _the point_ —conception, where our existence would be realised.

 **SPLAT**

Another half bit the dust. Those who were left started to gain a sense of clarity both physically and mentally.

The one to my right had purple eyes with concentric rings. The Rinnegan, my mind supplied. Immense power, he would become a man to rival deities.

The one in the lead was the Kyuubi; he gave into his hate and lost his humanity like the majority of those here, he however survived, whether it was due to superior hatred, strength or skill, I did not know.

The one to my left was surrounded by friends; a blond surrounded by people who loved him. I recognised a pair of bright green eyes—Sakura, a lazy smirk—Shikamaru, an arrogant tilt of the chin—Sasuke, a beam of sunlight glinting against sunglasses—Shino… and so many others. He was loved by all including his own Kyuubi. He had made peace with him. Gifted by the Sage of Six Paths. He had suffered, but his dreams had come true in the end—

 **BAM**

The Kyuubi went down; he lacked the fortitude to survive. A red-haired one was in the lead, but slipped; she lacked discipline.

 **CRACK**

Half of us were swallowed; they lacked luck.

We were reaching the end and luckily of the group that originally existed, only two remained.

The violet-eyed boy looked at me and stared with his eyes widened. Awe, fear, surprise, shock: take your pick. I inspired it in others. My strength was unlike all but one other ninja that stalked this earth. Greater than the Rinnegan, but worse.

With a jolt of energy, I ran and won. The ball was within my grasp.

I could touch.

And so I did, and I knew no more.

I would never remember these events that had come to pass. No one ever did and no one ever will.

Why should they? What could have and might have happened is of no significance.

But what will be, and remains to be seen?

That's what we live to see.

And we _will_.

* * *

 **R &R (Suggestions and advice are always welcome!)**


	2. Childhood's Beginnings (1)

_"The Log is the truth; it is everything: the child, the lover, the mother, the son."_

\- The Book of Log

* * *

 **C2: Childhood's Beginnings (Pt.1)**

 **Beta Reader: Izaranna**

* * *

Today was a day like any other.

The birds were chirping, the babies were burping and everyone was happy. The merchants filtered into the city, while the shinobi exited it; Genin who were exuberantly anticipating the sheer awesomeness of heading out on their first C-ranked mission, exhausted Anbu who were on their third S-ranked mission in a row…

Today ended unlike any other.

Ash to ash, dust to dust, fire to fire. The symphonies of death played across the grassy landscape, inciting all those who loved dark putridity into a mad frenzy of howling shrieks and fearful whimpers. The corpses built mountains tall enough to reach the sun, while the buildings tore themselves apart, shattering and smashing and _breaking_ , till the ants could pick up the miserable leftovers.

None of that mattered to one being.

One entity only known to ninja as the Kyuubi, a nine-tailed chakra construct of unimaginable power. But even with all of his power, he could not prevent the one thing he held in the highest of regards from being wrenched away from him.

* * *

 **A Ceremonial throne? Is that…? No, it can't be! Not again! He plans to reseal me into that child?!**

The Kyuubi hatched a plan, a very cunning one. Little did he know that being constantly crucified for more than a decade didn't do wonders for one's sanity, let alone improve their scheming skills. Luckily, he was not like most sentient beings—he was all chakra, and thus his mental fortitude wasn't all that damaged.

Much.

He shrunk himself by condensing his chakra to loosen the hold of his previous Jinchuuriki's adamantine chains. Being made of chakra, he knew exactly how to manipulate it to his advantage and relished in doing so.

 **Ah! It's been so long. I might even forgive that accursed Uchiha for controlling me. It's been far too long since I could do… this!**

In one swift motion, the Kyuubi manifested his chakra as an extra-long arm with a single finger, the nail long enough to eviscerate a giant. The Kyuubi's movement would have appeared instantaneous to most people, but luckily for Naruto, his parents weren't most people.

In fact, it was slow enough for them to do the quickest thing they could do. They jumped in between the cradle and the claw. It was futile. The claw was an inch longer than it would have been in most universes, and so in this universe, it was an inch closer to the cradle.

"His lungs! Minato! Apply the seal!" yelled Kushina, her voice heightened by the intensity of the events that have surrounded her for the past hour; her son's lungs being pierced by a nail being one of them.

"The seal could do anything." spluttered Minato, "It might kill him, or send him into another dimension, or…"

Kushina lightly head-butted and screamed at him to quickly apply the seal because after all, what's the worst that could happen? If it succeeded, the Kyuubi would heal him and if it didn't… the woman didn't want to think about that.

Head-butting and screaming at her husband would have been impossible for a mere mortal, considering the ordeal she'd been through in the past hour—a biju extraction, a pregnancy, and being stabbed through the chest. Experiencing any one of those would have left a person starved of energy or dead, but _all_ of those things combined? Well… it was a good thing she defied logic at any rate.

 **Don't tell me…he's going to seal me into an injured person with the Shinigami's seal, isn't he?**

The blond Hokage summoned a toad and began a series of hand seals.

 **He is.**

 **This is not good. If I have learnt anything from my last two hosts about using complex seals on injured people, it's one thing;**

 **Don't!**

The Shinigami became visible to the Kyuubi.

 **I can see why Kushina fell in love with this piece of trash. He's good with seals. It's always seals or power with these women.**

The Kyuubi was split into two halves—yin and yang—and Minato was trying to control which one went into Naruto. The headache was not helping; in fact, it was extremely detrimental to the cause.

The Yin half went to Naruto, while the Yang, to Minato.

The Shinigami disappeared and all was well.

For the Shinigami that is.

Not for Naruto, oh no, _definitely_ not, unless you count asphyxiation being a good thing, which no one ever does. One of his lungs had a gaping hole in it, but it quickly closed as the Kyuubi's power filtered in and once it finished healing him, threatened to take over the boy's mind. The seal activated and the biju's chakra vanished without a trace.

The adamantine barrier faded away as the life drained out of Kushina, however with the last of her energy, she forced herself to grab Minato and make sure both of them fell away from the cradle, but not before whispering three words with as much emotion as she could muster.

"I love you, dattebane!"

This is the story of how the Kyuubi lost his sanity; his most prized possession.

* * *

The rays of the rising sun slowly streamed into the Hokage's Office, lighting up a meeting between the newly reinstated Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen, and an Anbu squad.

"Hokage-sama, we have changed the bedding for the child, cleaned him and brought him to you as you have ordered." said one of the elite shinobi of the village of Konoha.

"Did you observe any unusual activity from him?" questioned the Hokage, his weariness evident in his voice.

"When we went to retrieve him, he thrashed violently, but a minute later, his fit subsided. After that, he has shown no unusual signs."

The third Hokage yawned, sleepy after last night's events and then spoke, "What do you all think? Where should we place him? Speak your mind."

One of the masked ninja spoke and the rest followed suit, "He needs to be somewhere where he can be protected."

The second Anbu threw his opinion in. "Not the Orphanage then. The owners don't approve of Anbu interference."

The third decided to comment on the growing discussion. "It would also make him vulnerable—too many people pass through there, and many new children must have joined it. It would be the perfect time to kidnap a boy."

The fourth carried on the conversation, "He can't live alone. He isn't old enough."

The Hokage came to a decision after a moment of contemplation. "Place him in an apartment and have an Anbu squad take care of him until further notice."

The Anbu nodded, disappearing with the breeze, leaving a trail of leaves in their wake.

The Hokage stared at the spot they'd previously been standing, and muttered, "Someone's going to have to clean that up, and it is _not_ going to be me."

* * *

A week later the Hokage had ironed out all pressing matters, except for one: the new Jinchuuriki of Konoha, and to do so, he had a plan. A perfect one.

It was the best he could come up with, as he could easily change it at a moment's notice, and as a result, it lacked the need to be fool-proof.

The Hokage readied himself before he faced the masked man in front of him, knowing that it would be slightly difficult to deal with the boy.

"Kakashi." he said in a serious tone.

The silver-haired Anbu stood up straighter.

"You have a mission of utmost importance; S-rank even. It is an internal long-term mission where you will have to take care of… a certain boy."

Kakashi's eyes narrowed behind his mask because he could easily guess which boy the Hokage was planning on making him take care of and was not amused.

"Hokage-sama, this mission…someone else will be more suitable for it. I don't feel myself to be emotionally capable of handling this mission." he said evenly, trying very hard to forget his sensei's smile, him ruffling his hair and laughing as he pouted, sensei's excitement at realising he was going to be a father…surely, the Hokage would understand that he wasn't fit to take on babysitting sensei's final legacy.

The Hokage looked at Kakashi with understanding. "There is no one else more suited to the task, Hound. He will help you as much as you will help him."

The Anbu captain pleaded again with Sarutobi. "Hokage-sama, I can take any number of S-rank missions instead of accepting this one."

"This is exactly to prevent that. I would rather not have a repeat of when you first joined Anbu, emotionless and taking missions of higher and higher risk, to the point where going on them becomes suicidal."

The room became silent, giving the Hokage the opportunity to smoke his first pipe since becoming Hokage again.

After a long draught, he continued, "This mission's end date is currently undetermined, so work under the assumption that this will last at the very least a decade. There will be a day squad and a night squad, and I want you to lead the day squad. This arrangement is subject to change, pending trial. Kakashi," the Hokage paused, emphasising the significance of what he was going to say next, "you will need to interact with the child—all of the Anbu will. This stipulation is non-negotiable."

Kakashi unhappily agreed.

This would cut into his time on spying on the Hokage for Root. Danzo would need to be reported of this new development. The Anbu muttered an affirmative and left.

* * *

Kakashi was not happy with the blond demon he had to put up with.

Only a few months had passed and the moment the blond could crawl, he caused mayhem wherever he went. Chewing on everything and anything in sight, from knives to feet; the Anbu learnt to keep everything away from Naruto, higher than he could reach without chakra.

This did not prevent the boy from trying his very best. What irritated him even worse was when his previous squad mates rotated out after a month, leaving Kakashi with the baby. The baby frankly scared him—a hyperactive bundle of joy some would say, but Kakashi wouldn't be fooled by such flowery sentimental words. This was exactly why he hated children.

He once found him on top of a cupboard. How? No one knows; no chakra was used. He even checked it with his Sharingan. The blond simply grinned at him as he was brought down.

This was not the first time he found the child in an unusual place, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. The blond demon went absolutely _everywhere_ without any compunctions—no kitchen counter, stove or closet was safe from his climbing. The idiot had nearly burned his pudgy hands only last week because he'd knocked a pot of boiling milk onto his hands, and he'd nearly given himself third-degree burns by sticking his hand into the stove.

All of this, to Kakashi, paled in comparison to the _way_ Naruto crawled.

Unnatural was the only way to describe it. He started crawling like normal babies, unsure of himself and constantly falling over—this was fine. Acceptable even.

However, after a month or two, he crawled with extreme accuracy. He had no way to describe it. If he had a Byakugan then perhaps he could explain the mechanics behind it better, but with his trained senses, he knew that babies were not supposed to crawl like that—softly, quietly and without any wasted movement.

In a few words, he hated his placement, but luckily Danzo hadn't minded it. In fact, he was quite happy and told him to report to him about the unnaturally unnatural baby.

Unlike him, however, one of his new compatriots was quite happy with her placement—a rookie, unsurprisingly.

"Could this be a trend?" Kakashi wondered. "Perhaps by the time the placement is over, every Anbu will have at least once been a part of this mission? It _is_ good practice for hand signs I suppose. After all, the Hokage did say that all commands must be given via hand signals, presumably for the practice."

* * *

Not only a year had passed and the boy could walk properly and was beginning to talk; this required further evaluation, or so Danzo had said.

Kakashi was not happy—the boy was starting to look more and more like Minato-sensei.

He was certain that being able to walk and talk before his first birthday was unusual, which further proved that the boy was unnatural. Danzo seemed to take a great interest in it. The silver-haired Anbu felt that either the boy was a genius (and considering who his parents were, that theory was extremely plausible) or perhaps the Kyuubi's seal was failing. Minato-sensei was amazing at sealing, almost as good as his wife, but that did not mean that he was infallible.

After all, if he had been, Obito wouldn't have died.

He would ask Danzo, Kakashi decided. He would ask him whether he could tell the Hokage about his suspicions and convince him to get Jiraiya-sama to come and check his student's seal work, just in case the seal was actually affecting Naruto's mental acuity.

Talking about negative behaviour, the boy's unnaturalness did not only encompass the _way_ he walked, it also affected how fast he did so.

Every once in a while, in the middle of walking, the boy would automatically stop and fall face flat. Not like a typical baby (of which he had done plenty of missions regarding taking care of them when he was a genin), but rather as though all of his muscles had ceased to move all at once.

Very strange.

* * *

Today, Jiraiya of the Sannin had visited Naruto and checked his seal.

It appeared to be functioning well—a little _too_ well.

The Sannin said that there was no trace of the Kyuubi in the boy, like as if he was not even a Jinchuuriki, and on top of that, he had civilian level reserves, which was concerning considering that Uzumaki genes were dominant according to Jiraiya and that it should have overshadowed Minato-sensei's civilian chakra genes. Perhaps this is why the boy was blond and not red-haired?

Jiraiya-sama hypothesised that, because Minato-sensei had applied the seal on an injured person, something had gone wrong, and it was extremely likely that the chakra suppression ring in the seal had modified so that it was constantly suppressing the boy's chakra—the boy probably had a large chakra capacity but he couldn't access it.

The Sannin stayed for the rest of the day, playing with Naruto. He even left him a little toad toy which the boy took to carrying around everywhere with him.

* * *

A year later, the Hokage decided that Naruto was old enough to read books—simple ones, of course—and begin learning how to write. Kakashi had been on a mission in the past year, one which had opened his eyes to Danzo's duplicitous nature.

His mission partner could manipulate wood which was supposed to be impossible, so naturally, he broke into the Hokage's residence to obtain more information, as wood manipulation was a unique mutation of the first Hokage. It was quite easy and it made him wonder whether there was a reason as to why such a high profile location was easily infiltrated.

Whilst in the building, Kakashi was caught by the Hokage and instead of being sent to T&I, the Hokage answered his question.

The results were, to put it simply, revealing.

Kakashi learned the error of his ways and informed the Hokage about Danzo's plans to assassinate him. Kakashi dealt with it and all was well, but unfortunately, without evidence, Danzo could not be incarcerated for his deeds.

After all was said and done, the Hokage decided to come to Naruto's house.

* * *

"Naru-chan?"

The third Hokage entered the building and was greeted with emptiness.

No baby was there to be found. He even tried detecting him using chakra, but to no avail. Sarutobi was about to call the Anbu but stopped as he saw a really small baby crawl into view from the shadows.

The baby looked at him with large eyes and smiled before squealing, "Jiji!"

Naruto crawled extremely fast towards the Hokage, before sitting upright and gesturing questioningly towards the bag the Hokage was carrying with him. "Wha's this?"

The Hokage sat down in front of Naruto and lifted a book from his bag, "I have brought books for you." said Hiruzen, while taking the time to carefully enunciate each syllable. "This is a book."

The Hokage shook the book in his hand to emphasise his point and then pointed towards the box that magically appeared in front of him, "And these are a lot of books."

Naruto looked at him with wide eyes, soaking up each word, "Book?"

"Yes. Since I will be going to a summit for a few weeks, I will not be able to help you read them, so if you want…" The man opened up one of the books and pointed at the pictures inside, "You can open and look inside them until I come back."

The blond stood up and tried to reach something which the wizened man took to mean that he wanted the book.

"You want this book?" The Hokage looked at Naruto with a hint of surprise and handed it over.

While giving Naruto the book, he noticed that his pudgy hands were already filled with fabric; namely, the Hokage's hat. Naruto looked at him solemnly and then giggled, prompting a light-hearted chuckle from the old man.

After half an hour, the Hokage left, leaving a smiling Naruto behind. The door slammed shut and Naruto's demeanour changed to a more inquisitive one as the Anbu melded into their surroundings.

Naruto watched and watched (discreetly of course!) until the Anbu posted in his room walked to one of the toilets and foolishly forgot to signal to another Anbu to replace him—after all, he had done this multiple times before.

Naruto looked around to make sure no one was around and then opened the book that the Hokage gave him earlier. His eyes glazed over as he looked at the book, which abruptly caught fire and burnt without leaving a trace.

Naruto began to cry, attracting all the Anbu in the vicinity like a moth to a flame.

One of the Anbu walked up towards Naruto and ran a scanning jutsu on him.

"He has a headache." the Anbu muttered to himself, tapping his shoulder. A puff of smoke appeared and dispersed to reveal a first aid kit. The Anbu took out a bottle of child-friendly analgesic and motioned to another Anbu to retrieve some milk.

The masked man fed Naruto and gave him the medicine.

As soon as the medicine was administered, Naruto pointed at the bottle and said loudly, "Milk bottle!" before rapidly naming everything in the room.

The Anbu looked gobsmacked.

They knew that Naruto was a fast learner, but being able to accurately name objects were abilities none of them felt a one-year-old boy was supposed to have. They did what anyone else would do and pretended that absolutely nothing unusual had happened.

The Anbu stationed in Naruto's room was a different one now, and she approached Naruto to tickle and praise him for "knowing all these things already!"

Naruto sat down in the middle of the room next to his book and toy box, holding his frog tightly, before turning his back to the Anbu and stretching out his hand.

His eyes glazed over and after a minute, he got up and walked towards the book box. He reached out to pick up a book, but before he could, his eyes glazed over. This time, however, the book his hand brushed past disappeared without the flames that had previously accompanied it.

The boy continued making the books vanish until his head began to hurt again. He stopped and just laid down on the rug and drifted off to sleep.

 **object_Player(Naruto_Uzumaki):logging[out]_initialising[sleepmode]**

* * *

Naruto steadily worked his way through all the books and, after a week, he was done. He then tried communing with the Anbu in his room.

"I 'ave no mo' books!"

The Anbu in his room looked at him funnily, before walking towards the boy's book box and opened it, "They should all be in…"

The Anbu reached inside to take out a book, "Here?"

He looked inside the box to find it empty.

"Eh?!"

He turned around and began interrogating Naruto, who was the only one apart from the Anbu that had access to the book box, and the baby, in his loudest and most ominous voice, had only one explanation.

"They van'ed!"

The Anbu blinked, and then looked at the box, and then blinked again, before knocking on the door in a standard sequence to summon the rest of the Anbu.

They arrived and after a flurry of signs, their captain shunshin'd away while the rest began searching around the house for the missing books. After ten minutes, the Anbu captain returned through the door with the Hokage in tow, who noticed Naruto curled up on the rug.

"What's wrong, Naru-chan?"

The blond baby looked at the Hokage with the cutest eyes he could muster and said, "No mo' books!"

"No more books?"

"Mhmm!" he nodded in the most woebegone fashion he could manage.

The Hokage looked at the Anbu that escorted him with a face that betrayed many emotions, one of the major ones being exasperation, "Why did you not just buy more books for him?"

The Anbu went up to the door and knocked in the same pattern as the Anbu before him did, to summon all the Anbu in the house. They arrived and the captain tapped one and guided him to the Hokage who then repeated his question to him.

"Hokage-sama…" The Anbu spoke to the old man with uncertainty, "We explored the entire house for Naruto's books, but failed, so we then utilised jutsu to find them, but even then we failed, so we then tried to search for any traces of anyone else in the house as there might have been a chance, however, slight that—"

The Hokage interrupted the Anbu by raising his hand, "Enough, I get the picture. Just go and get him more books."

"The same?"

"The very same. After all, he probably hasn't finished them and would probably want to read them all, isn't that right Naru-chan?"

Naruto shook his head and exclaimed, "No, Jiji! I would like mo' books! New books! Diff'ent books! Tens mo'! Hundreds more! Cause I fin'shed the old ones."

The Hokage looked Naruto in the eye and Naruto held his gaze. After a few moments, the Hokage broke eye contact and asked the child whether he wanted a room filled with books.

"Like a lie-bray-rie?"

"Exactly like one." the Hokage nodded indulgently.

The boy let out an exclamation of happiness.

The Hokage turned to the Anbu and asked them to convert one of the free rooms into a library. Soon after getting the details sorted, he decided to leave, noticing that Naruto had disappeared sometime during his instruction-giving.

As he reached the door, he suddenly felt a weight lifted off his head.

He turned around to see a grinning Naruto sitting on top of one of the kitchen cupboards, giggling cutely as he tried on his hat.

"Now how did you get up there Naruto?"

The Hokage brought down Naruto and tickled him, simultaneously stealing back his hat with Kage-like expertise.

As soon as he put Naruto down onto the floor, the baby hugged his leg and murmured a goodbye. Hiruzen smiled as he patted his downy head.

"Now then Naruto, be a good boy and stay safe. Don't cause too much trouble for the Anbu, okay?"

"Okay!" exclaimed the boy with a grin as he let go of the man's leg and waved good-bye to the man.

* * *

 **R &R (Suggestions and advice are always welcome!)**


	3. Childhood's Beginnings (2)

_"We wast torch'd by the very humans we sustain'd."_

\- The Book of Log

* * *

 **C3: Childhood's Beginnings (Pt.2)**

 **Beta Reader: Izaranna**

* * *

Mission? Yes. Danzo-sama has given a mission.

Must be completed? Yes.

What? A Boy.

Uzumaki Naruto, a Jinchuuriki. To be desensitised. Age: 3. Blond, blue-eyed, intelligent, peculiar, no discernible birthmarks.

Possible avenues to achieve mission success? Weaknesses. Attraction: Toad toy. Toads are the summons of Jiraiya of the Sannin—Flight risk. Tenuous attachments to the village. Flee if sighted on a solo mission.

Desensitize? To what? Violence. Yes, turn a potentially unstable boy— _he's a freaking Jinchuuriki—_ more unstable. Danzo's orders. Do not question.

How? Decapitate. Headshot. Loss of head perturbs humans. Increases target's susceptibility.

Time to cut.

Approaching boy, no sound. Why operative number 007? The previous spy, Kakashi Hatake defected. Part of Anbu, perfect mole.

Boy sees nothing, knows nothing. He sees something, he knows now. Pick up the toy. Kunai. Rip. Snip. Tear. Rend. Drop dramatically onto the floor. Grin with satisfaction. Say something dramatic.

"To be living is to suffer. To suffer is to live, so truly, this is nothing compared to what others are going through."

Potentially a failure. Not dramatic enough. Irrelevant. Point made. Boy's eye is glazing over.

With tears?

Whilst looking over operative number 007's head, he narrows his eyes; unhappy. No noise.

Mission success.

Disappear into the shadows. Part one complete. Long-term mission. By the end, a perfect weapon. Ready to kill for the village at any moment.

* * *

"Jiji, could I go with you to your office?"

The Hokage looked at the four-year-old boy with surprise before replying, "Why on earth would you want to watch an old man doing paperwork?"

The child looked at Hiruzen in the eye before replying nonchalantly, "It should be fun."

Sarutobi Hiruzen's demeanour changed from surprise to shock as he realised that Naruto seemed to genuinely believe that paperwork could be potentially interesting.

 _Well? What's the worst that could happen?_

"Of course, you can Naru-chan, of course you can."

* * *

The unlikely pair entered the Hokage's office. It was filled with all sorts of knick-knacks and books. Pictures of past Hokages, mahogany furniture, bookcases filled with all sorts of wondrous volumes on jutsu, techniques, epics and war tactics…

The piece de resistance of the room was a large altar-like table covered with a cloth inscribed with the symbol of Konohagakure and kanji amounting to the word Hokage. It was covered with paperwork, and right next to it was more paperwork.

Hiruzen cleared a side of the table and told the child to stay there, after which he sat down on his Hokage chair and began working, filling in the forms, stamping his signature where necessary and, from time to time, throwing away unneeded paperwork. All the while, the baby stared at the discarded sheets and occasionally at what the old man was filling out.

The boy asked questions when he did not understand terms used on the sheets of paper which the Hokage gladly answered, happy for any distraction from his accursed never-ending mountain of paperwork.

* * *

After a few visits to Sarutobi's office, Naruto had the pleasure of meeting the Hokage's newborn grandson.

"Is this how a healthy baby looks like?" muttered Naruto out loud.

"Yes, Naruto." sighed Hiruzen as he cradled the little baby in his arms.

"Konohamaru looks…like a baby."

"Yes, yes he does. I am glad you understand that."

Naruto looked affronted, "In my defence, I was expecting a bit…more."

The office became silent with only the occasional baby noises puncturing the silence until Naruto could not contain his curiosity any longer.

"Can I touch him?"

"Certainly, but be delicate."

The blond gently placed his finger on the baby's cheek. "He's quite squishy. I can see why people like babies."

Konohamaru's eyes widened at being in contact with a new human and did what any other baby would do. He tried to eat Naruto's finger.

Naruto yelped in pain and gently coaxed his finger out of the infant's mouth.

"Okay, I can see why people like babies _from a distance_."

Naruto frowned in contemplation at Konohamaru, his chubby cheeks puffing out in thought.

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto was not a happy boy.

He was freezing and was just handed a teddy bear to replace his beloved 'Kaeru', a toad given to him by one Jiraiya of the Sannin. Naruto had learnt the man's identity only due to his almost ritualistic feasting on the books in his library.

The blond sat in front of a heater, staring into its luminous coils with his toy, pondering about philosophical things; Why do heaters heat? Why was the cake a lie? How much wood did the woodchuck chuck if the woodchuck could chuck wood? Why did he dream about a tree that had cocoons hanging from it like fruit?

These were just a few of many questions that were going through the boy's mind.

He pondered and thought until he could think no more.

His eyes felt dry, so he blinked. He looked at his toy who incidentally could not blink and felt surprised at the changes that took place.

The teddy bear appeared possessed; its eyes were glazed over and cracked, forming an almost manic glint in its eyes. Its pupils held intricate patterns which appeared to go to infinity and beyond. Some looked like chicken scratches, while others formed recognisable patterns, the largest one being a snowflake intertwined with leaves if the blond squinted enough.

The blonde had found something else to think about as he gazed into the cracked orbs of the bear.

* * *

On one very fine sunny morning, the Hokage had had enough.

"Naruto?"

The blond looked up from the paperwork he was helping the Hokage with and muttered an affirmative.

"Why do you like helping me? What is there in paperwork that interests a five-year-old?"

The blond looked pensively at the desk, before replying to the Hokage, "I…the paperwork… has a lot of information on it. There are many things which I have learnt from helping you work that I am certain I would not have been able to if I only stuck to reading books. It also helps give you a good grasp on people."

The Hokage looked mildly surprised and questioned the boy, "For example?"

Naruto lifted up one of the papers on the table and pointed at it, replying with a factual, "This is the third time Shimura Danzo has asked to have adolescent orphans who have shown no ninja aptitude for 'experimental' purposes to try out new shinobi methods, which I feel is rather suspicious because, if they cannot utilise ninja techniques, how can they utilise their methods?"

The blond took a deep breath before continuing. "It appears as if the man desires them for actual experimentation to see the effects of new shinobi techniques on them. This theory is possible due to the wording he used in his requests."

Sarutobi Hiruzen looked at Naruto with a smile, before ruffling his hair and resuming his work.

* * *

"Jiji? Who are my parents?" asked Naruto abruptly one day.

The third Hokage looked at Naruto with pursed lips and thought about the question for a few moments before replying, "I'll tell you when you are older."

"How much older and why?" replied the boy almost instantly.

"When you are at the very least a Genin—you would be in active training and able to defend yourself from potential assassinations…your parents were quite famous people, after all. If you knew about them, it would increase the risk of someone else finding out."

The blond looked downcast.

"But I can keep secrets…" he mumbled, before speaking clearer, "Secrets like Anbu patrol information—who does it and when they swap, how to identify Anbu and remember all of the data I have seen throughout the years…I've been keeping secrets since I was a baby Jiji."

The Hokage was surprised but schooled his features because he knew that young children had a tendency to use hyperboles. But then…Naruto wasn't the type of child to do so, which led him to inquire further.

"Prove it; tell me the Anbu patrol information, all of the ones that you know."

Naruto proceeded to do just that.

"…and that is all I remember. I remember everything I have experienced. I really do think that you should reshuffle the Anbu patrols a bit more Jiji because they're pretty predictable and it appears as if the patrol has remained the same for the past five years, which would be a security risk, would it not?"

Hiruzen knew that at least half of all the blond's data was indeed true, however, the other half's accuracy was a bit more uncertain as even the Hokage could not remember them off the top of his head. Regardless, after Naruto's display of intelligence, he believed him.

 _The man in charge of assigning missions in Anbu was Danzo, as far as I'm aware. I would rather not think that Danzo has the capacity for such an act, to make our village vulnerable, however after the Kakashi incident…_

 _There is no proof…however, I think sacking him for this should be enough… and Root. I will order its dismantling. We have no need for it anymore._

* * *

Naruto decided to finish off the last book in his library on his birthday to increase the success rate of his plan—make the Anbu get him more books on subjects like human anatomy or, at the very least, higher level books that he hadn't already read. The blond left his library and pondered on who to approach.

' _Tenzo', 'Dog' or 'Uzuki Yugao'_

Uzuki Yugao: she was assigned to him only a month before his second birthday. She was new at the time and took off her mask once in front of him. She came and went like the others, but liked him quite a bit. However, he was not sure whether she would be the best person to ask.

Dog was their leader, the one who'd watched him ever since he could remember. Always during the day. He slowly warmed up to the blond as years passed. The blond asked him the most questions, so he decided that if possible, he would rather not ask him.

Tenzo was a relatively new Anbu watcher. He'd joined recently, but walked like 007. However, unlike him, his alias was a normal Anbu number. He was quite kind and willing to help the boy. The only reason he knew his name was because it was his code-name and one of the other Anbu let it slip.

Naruto walked up to Dog in the end as he had decided that, since the man would learn about it anyway, he might as well go directly to him.

The blond hugged the Anbu's legs to gain his attention. "Nii-san, I've finished reading all the books, so buy me more?"

Dog walked to the library with the baby in tow and whilst doing so, he conversed with the boy. "If you were more polite, maybe I'd listen to you. After all, I _am_ older than you."

"I just turned six today, Nii-san! Someday I will be older than you, and then it will be my turn to boss you around!" said the child resolutely, bobbing his head up and down.

The man looked at Naruto with a trace of a smile hidden behind his masked face which turned into a smirk as he realised that Naruto wanted to play the waiting game. The first one to speak loses.

Naruto was not prepared to budge, so he kept quiet. By the time they arrived at the library (which did not take long), his resistance began to crumble, and he burst out, "Fine! I give up. Please? It's not fair! You know books are my greatest weakness…"

"Please, what?"

The blond sighed, before replying, "Please can you buy me more advanced books like information about other villages? You know, their culture and things like that. Just generally books that I haven't read before. I'd really like it if you could get me books on the human body and its anatomy and genetics too if you can."

The masked man knew that normal children wouldn't ask for such books but, knowing that Naruto was far from normal, he ignored it and just asked him where all the missing books had gone.

"They went into a state of non-being, which is to say, they are everywhere and nowhere at the same time."

The Anbu was not amused.

"Your guess is as good as mine."

The man crossed his arms.

"Well then Naruto. I'm not really sure I should give you the books you asked for. I mean, the information you've asked for will contain some information from Konoha's R&D division's data, and considering your track record with books, or their lack thereof when you're done with them, I don't think there's any guarantee that the information won't fall into enemy hands."

The blond became silent for a few moments before replying, "Okay, I'll tell you, but it's a secret, so you can't tell anyone."

At Dog's sceptical stance, Naruto added, "Please?"

When the Anbu nodded, Naruto whispered conspiratorially, "It's something I realised when I was younger. I'm not entirely normal. I would rather not go into too much detail, so I'll simply answer your question by saying that I would like you to get me a book—a new one that I haven't read yet— and then I'll _show_ you what happens to them."

The Anbu nodded and vanished. After a minute or two, he materialised with a book in hand, the cover of which was severely damaged.

"Why did you destroy the cover?"

"I'd like to know whether having a book cover actually makes a difference. Just a thought I had, nothing to concern yourself about."

The blonde picked up the book and dropped it, after which he backed away immediately from the book.

"What's wrong Naruto-kun?"

"That book…" the blond gestured at the book, "why did you give me a book on how to torture people?"

"It was just a test."

"I am immensely unhappy, Nii-san."

"Well then, it's a good thing I brought you another book, ne?"

The Anbu reached into the storage seal etched into his Anbu tattoo and took out a cookbook.

"Show me how you read books with this one."

The Anbu reached out to pick up the burnt book, but the blond stopped him and looked pleadingly with his big blue eyes.

"Please, can I keep it?"

"You want to keep a book on how to torture people? A book that is given to rookie T&I specialists?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Only an idiot denies knowledge. Ignorance is caused by the rejection of something you know nothing about and refusal to investigate. Even if I don't know how to torture someone, the potential to learn it could be vital when I need to use it. Better to know more, than to know less."

The Anbu was surprised at the blond's retort and simply nodded to show that he had acquiesced to the blond's demand.

Naruto left the book on the floor and picked up the cookbook. Dog watched in shock as it disintegrated.

"Normally it would burn, but when I was a baby I managed to figure out how to get rid of the fire which, although harmless, was extremely flamboyant. It just disintegrates now, and when it does I immediately learn everything in the book. In fact, if you want I could go cook something now."

Naruto crawled to the kitchen, the Anbu looked on with concern. He wondered why the boy preferred to crawl rather than walk—he crawled the same way he walked and breathed, with that unnatural perfection he'd had since he was a child.

"You know Naruto, people typically do not crawl."

The boy looked surprised as he stood up. "Really? I thought it was just a matter of preference. I mean, some books I read have people walking and others have people walking like animals."

The Anbu laughed internally as he realised what the boy had done. "The words they used were not metaphors Naruto. Those were actually animals."

The blond blushed before he continued walking to the kitchen but, just as he entered, he stumbled and jabbed the air multiple times before announcing, "It's time to cook! And today, the only things I know how to cook are teriyaki, omurice, gyuudon, okonomiyaki and yakisoba. What would you like to have today?"

"Omurice." replied Kakashi, bemused.

Naruto turned around to get a knife until he realised a huge flaw in his plan. "You know what, Nii-san? I just realised that I'm too short to cook."

The Anbu laughed out loud, "That _is_ a problem. With the way you speak, it's easy to forget that you're only six years old. It's alright Naruto, I believe you. I'll go get your books now."

* * *

"Time for you to leave Naruto. The Anbu will take you now since I have a meeting to attend to." said the Hokage, weariness evident in his voice.

The Anbu descended onto Naruto and prepared to leave with the boy in tow, but stopped when he lifted his hand in the universal gesture for 'hold it'.

"Actually Jiji, could I stay for this meeting, please?" Naruto used his big blue eyes to convince the Hokage. It worked.

Hiruzen sighed and agreed, "Alright, but I trust you not to interrupt."

"Definitely."

There was a knock at the door and the Hokage called out a "come in!", and in walked the receptionist, who told the Hokage that a man from Yugakure (Village hidden in the Hot springs) had come to request permission for the village to be demilitarised and turned into a tourist attraction. The Hokage nodded and told her to send the man in.

"Hokage-sama." The man bowed, ignoring the child as being a military dictator had its perks, and one of them was being able to do whatever you wanted.

"Rise and speak."

"I have come here from Yugakure to request permission for the village to be demilitarised and turned into a tourist attraction…."

The talks continued for the next few hours.

Yugakure, Naruto knew, was a remote base for Konoha. However, it handled the more violent jobs, like an external Anbu, presumably because the violent cult of Jashin was situated there. Naruto knew this was true as he had read about the cult and had even asked the Hokage to elaborate about them three years ago when he was four.

The talks concluded.

All the shinobi who wanted to stay as a ninja were to join Konoha; a 30% discount for all Konoha shinobi above the rank of Chunin and those who were accompanying them at their hot-springs, and 25% of all the revenue of the village was to go to Konoha's treasury. The man was quite willing to agree to the terms the Hokage gave them as he had promised large discounts on mission prices to Yugakure in return and because ultimately, without the Hokage's compliance with their demands, they would not be able to become the tourist attraction they desperately wanted to become.

The man left and the Hokage turned his head to look at the pensive Uzumaki. "What did you think of that Naruto?"

"Jiji, I was wondering, what has been done with the Jashinists? They massacred a little village three years ago and the only likely reason I can think of, for them to have not razed the Yugakure, was because they got to fulfil their God's demands by going on the violent missions the village received. They were most likely part of the village and thus would not be very happy with its demilitarisation."

The Hokage's eyes narrowed as he thought about what Naruto had said and realised that it was true— they had never dealt with the Jashinists as they had never become a major problem, but clearly, now they would need to do something about it, or at least check the situation.

But first, he needed to confirm Naruto's assertion—he needed concrete evidence to be able to give a mission such as this, in case Yugakure inquired as to why there were shinobi present in their village.

* * *

 _Target confirmed._

A few weeks after the Hokage's meeting with the envoy from Yugakure, the old man had asked his student, Jiraiya about any strange happenings in Yugakure. His student told him enough to warrant a team of Anbu. They were sent to the village on orders to defuse the Jashinists by any means necessary.

 _Is everyone in their places?_

The team muttered an affirmative and moved in for the 'kill', so to speak. Their target was a Jashinist, according to their intel, and was the perfect person to interrogate to obtain information on their hideout; after all, to get rid of a weed, you have to kill it from its roots, and she was root enough.

The only reason they had information on her and knew that their plan would work because they had access to Danzo's previous root member's details who he claimed became 'estranged' from the organisation.

One Anbu held out his palm and created a seed that would allow him to track whoever ingests it.

He lifted his hand into the air and a crow swooped down and trapped the seed in its sharp claws, coating it in a layer of dust from its homeland that masked chakra and could be easily digested by any stomach.

The crow flew towards another Anbu member who was standing in front of a restaurant and dropped the seed into her outstretched hands.

She walked into the establishment through the back door and entered the kitchens. All of the cooks ignored her—the Anbu had already informed them that a mission was taking place—as she walked up to one of the dishes and dropped the seed in; it was a dish which had seeds as one of its main condiments. The Anbu left, knowing that one of the chefs would give it to their target.

The fourth member of their squad – the leader – was watching their target, to ensure that she did not leave the restaurant.

A few minutes later, the Jashinist had received her food and left. The wood manipulating Anbu checked to make sure that the tracker was working and, an hour later, she entered and stayed at a place for an extended length of time.

The Anbu decided to check the place.

She was in a building situated in the poorer areas of Yugakure—an abandoned hospital whose walls were already being reclaimed by the flora of the surrounding area.

The squad entered the building and took in the scent of decay that writhed in the air like a nervous serpent. The Anbu's hair stood on edge—they knew that something was going to happen.

They strode on, guided by the seed's unique chakra until something stumbled across them…or rather, someone.

"Who are you? You are not one of us!"

The man's entire body appeared to have been damaged by disease, so the next act by some could be seen as euthanasia.

"You are…!"

The man tried to speak but was left breathless, literally. His attempts to gasp for air were rendered futile by the sword in his neck.

His body was sealed in a scroll.

The leader signed to the others to go and make sure that the entire building was secure. The wood user, Yamato, and he continued onwards towards the transmission seed.

The duo reached an operation theatre and, from inside, sounds were being issued that would not be out of place in a brothel.

"The pain is heavenly!" screamed a man, who sounded like as if he was on the verge of an orgasm.

The Anbu infiltrated the room to find the woman and two other men operating on a silver-haired man on a table. They were chanting verses from a book as they lifted out organs from a dark liquid and placed them back into their 'patient', whose purple eyes were dilated in ecstasy.

The man lying on the table's pupils shifted towards their direction. He opened his mouth and spoke in a voice that seemed distinctly not human.

" **We know!"**

Its voice seemed cultured and held a hint of something that could only be described as emptiness. It was the voice you could hear when the Shinigami came calling; it was what you would hear in your darkest nightmares where no one could hear you scream.

It was a voice that was a far cry from the Jashinist's original voice.

The Anbu were shocked into action by being discovered and did the one thing that was ingrained into their psyche.

They killed.

Yamato formed a hand seal and the vines the Jashinists were standing on sharpened and elongated. They drilled their way up their feet and emerged out of their scalps.

The leader approached the operating table and killed the man on it, who was cackling all the while.

The duo left the room and approached the Anbu who were standing outside the doorway and signed to them:

 _Interior secured._

 _Ritual stopped._

The Anbu stopped communicating when they heard a voice boom from behind them, from the fifth floor of the building. They silently wondered how they managed to hear it from the ground.

"You have not seen the last of us! You will rue the day you made us your enemies!"

The man jumped off the building towards the Anbu, who immediately teleported away when they noticed the exploding tags covering his body.

One large explosion later, the four Anbu left for Konoha to report.

They were not worried about the man's last words as it was extremely normal for people to say such things to them. After all, these were the kinds of missions they were normally sent on.

Babysitting a certain blond child was the exception, not the norm.

* * *

 **Omake**

Hatake Kakashi, Anbu captain extraordinaire, was saddled with the mundane job of patrolling the village as he now had more free time—the Hokage had more Anbu he trusted enough to take care of Naruto, so he the rotations meant he didn't have to babysit him all day every day anymore.

One of the things he had to deal with was making sure that the merchants were not bringing in any contraband into the village; he frequently used his Sharingan to check for any strange chakra signatures, as every organic material exudes chakra, and most of them were untradeable goods.

Normally, they were perfectly fine, with the Hyuga being a safety net in case they were powdered or otherwise disguised.

A few days later and tens of carts later, Kakashi had finally found a peculiar chakra signature. Luckily, it came from the last cart in the procession and so it was quite easy to stop it.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" asked Kakashi with a hint of amusement as he stopped the cart.

"Umm, I can explain." The civilian shivered in fear as the Anbu oozed a bit of killer intent.

Dog lifted up the cover of the cart and found a bear paw along with the rest of its body buried underneath hay and other tradeable goods.

"Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. Bears are untradeable goods class A." The Anbu picked up a piece of dried up hay which crumbled in his hands, "I can see that you are new to the poaching business."

The civilian hesitantly replied, "But I thought in shinobi villages, everyone had a right to bear arms."

The Anbu cringed at the bad pun but was amused by the fact that the civilian had enough guts to make one in front of him.

Especially in front of him.

"You know what," Kakashi turned around to face the man, "I'll let you off with just a fine, instead of the two-year jail sentence. But _I'll_ be taking the bear. I would take all of your goods, but they don't even amount to even a quarter of the penalty, so…"

With that, Kakashi took the bear and walked away.

 _Perhaps Naruto might like a weapon if he becomes a ninja,_ He mused, _these bear claws are quite nice. The teeth can be made into quite good daggers. Its hide would be good to use as well. Hmm._

He paused in his tracks for a moment before turning course.

 _Best tell Hokage-sama about this. He'll know the best way to use this to help Naruto…eh, maybe we could sell this on the black market. After all, we're only doing this on the Daimyo's orders…we have plenty of bears in the forest, after all._

* * *

 **R &R (Suggestions and advice are always welcome!)**


	4. Childhood's Beginnings (3)

_"The humans hath broken a bond of yore. Verily, they was't truly of the liars."_

\- The Book of Log

* * *

 **C4: Childhood's Beginnings (Pt.3)**

 **Beta Reader: Izaranna**

* * *

A blond boy was leaning against the windowsill, reading a book, his attention waning by the minute. He looked out the window and took in what he could of the outside world — a world he had never been a part of.

The sky was lighting up; its dark hues faded into lighter shades, the sun banishing the darkness of the night completely, obliterating every shadow in sight. To Naruto, it was all a swirl of muted colours, lacking the vibrancy that can only be seen when looked at from the outside.

He was bored.

Dead bored.

Naru-chan didn't like being bored.

It had been eight years since his birth and he could remember everything – every _single_ second – of those eight long years. It wasn't a problem, until a few years ago when he accidentally managed to make himself remember every single detail that was present in those seconds.

It all started when he was but a year old, if not younger.

He was a little pudgy baby when he discovered the wonder of the floating screens. Clicking what he knew now as 'Yes' gave him knowledge and saying certain keywords allowed him to learn more about himself than anyone ever could.

Recently, Naruto had been stuck in a rut of sorts. He was getting bored of reading, but who could really blame him, when that was all he had done for eight years? Sure, he dabbled in arts and writing, but nothing could beat a good book to him.

The blond raised his hand and summoned a screen that was filled with boxes of all sorts surrounding a little figurine of himself that wore whatever he wore, creepily similar to the voodoo dolls he read about in one of his books.

The boxes contained whatever articles of clothing he wore, but as always, most were empty. They weren't organised well—it looked like as if a toddler had decided to make his user interface.

He hated it.

Sadly, he couldn't do a thing about it, so he looked at the things he could change.

His skills.

These numbered in the millions and had been unorganised and unlabelled. Keywords: had been. Naruto had fixed it as soon as he began to hate the layout, organising them and learning as much as he could about them to enable him to use them.

He'd learnt that all of them were parts of the body when he had finished his first library, so naturally he'd asked his Anbu caretakers to get him anatomy books.

With his newfound knowledge, he organised them into whatever categories he could think of and tested each one out.

He'd died many times, but luckily it wasn't permanent.

It never was.

Time reversed for him. He went back to a point where he wasn't dead and his settings were reset if they were affecting him adversely.

He adjusted his position on the windowsill and decided that today he would ask the Anbu to take him outside. He got up and put his book away, before turning around and bumping into an Anbu.

"Nii-san?" said Naruto. He knew it was _that_ Anbu. His mannerisms and vocal cues were impossible to replicate.

The Anbu smiled beneath his mask, happy that even after his protests, the Hokage had given him this job—he knew that he would most likely have failed in helping Minato-sensei's legacy, let alone to the point where he would call him 'Nii-san', had he not been forced into the role of caretaker. It was one of the few promises that he had actually succeeded in keeping.

"Would you like to go outside?" asked the Anbu like as if he had read Naruto's mind.

 _How did he know that? I'm pretty sure he—_

"—can't read minds?" quipped the Anbu.

"How _do_ you do that?" questioned Naruto.

"Trade secret."

He huffed, "I think I preferred you before you managed to convince the Hokage to allow you to join the same rotation every other Anbu had."

"I'm hurt." said the Anbu while crossing his hands above his heart in a show of how much hurt he was dealt by the blond's words.

"You take _too_ much joy in life now." said the boy while narrowing his eyes in disagreement.

"Only because of you, Naru-chan."

The Uzumaki sighed.

"Here's a wig and a pair of contacts. We'll be watching from a distance, so don't try to get into too much trouble. You'll be given free reign, the only time we will stop you is if you do something or are going to do something illegal, and I'm sure you know what that is."

Naruto nodded in compliance.

* * *

The sun bared down upon the village of Konoha, dissolving any semblance of darkness in the village. It's heavenly glow bathed everything in the village, increasing the vividness of the grass, the sky and the earth.

Uzumaki Naruto (who was wearing a black wig and dark brown contacts) walked along a river, taking in the brilliant radiance of reality. Normally, such a beautiful day would inspire a sense of awe in people, but for one who has never experienced the outside world, it made the day all the more amazing.

He was broken from the trance-like state he was in when he noticed that, across the bank, hidden in a clump of trees, were people who were administrating care to the trees in a manner similar to what one would give to pets.

Naruto was shocked.

What kind of people do that? Especially such high-level people.

The blond carried on. The laughter of children wafted through the air and weighed heavily on Naruto's mind. The only child he had ever seen was the kitten of the Daimyo's wife.

The Uzumaki changed course and veered away from the river towards the sound. It originated from a park with many children—clan children—Naruto's ability supplied. Every single fact he had ever read displayed itself when he looked at the people it pertained to, which was just another thing that came with the premise of being Uzumaki Naruto.

Most of the information followed the following formula:

Blank + Clan name

Some, however, were named; clan heads, clan heirs and their spares. They were important enough to be mentioned in the books Naruto had read.

One clan was missing, Naruto noted.

The Uchiha.

The blond was not surprised—he had read the architecture plans for Konoha and knew that they had a park hidden within the confines of their own clan compound.

He looked around, noting the one boy who was eating another kid's hand. Inuzuka Kiba, a spare heir. He also found some Hyuga, however, their clan heir was missing. Again most likely for the same reason as the Uchiha.

The boy left the park and wandered around Konoha for a bit, before returning home.

* * *

"Nii-san, why were people hugging trees?" questioned Naruto as soon as he entered his home.

The Anbu chuckled. "They were showing their appreciation to the trees, thanking them for the help they give us."

The boy looked even more confused, "Why?"

"You might want to take a seat—this will take a while."

Naruto sat down on one of his sofas in the living room and signed to the Anbu, " _Continue."_

The masked man nodded and began, "Every shinobi country has their own patron religion, and you know that, right?"

The blond nodded.

"Konoha's religion is the Way Of The Log. We follow it along with either Shinto or Buddhism, like every other shinobi country. Why? We are protected by the log through the use of a jutsu which calls upon it. When called, it shields us from danger, and our only priest of the Way Of The Log was our first Hokage, gifted in the Ways of the Wood. The main reason why ninjas, and especially the Jounin, follow the religion is actually a state secret."

Naruto repeated, shocked, "State secret?"

"Yes. It is a state secret that only Jounin and Anbu have clearance to. In fact, it is a part of their induction."

The blond opened his mouth again but was interrupted by the masked man. "Don't ask me more about it, I really am not allowed to talk about it. It's an S-rank secret."

Naruto looked at the Anbu blankly before speaking, "Can I go out again, tomorrow?"

"You can go out whenever you want, providing that you alert us beforehand."

* * *

Naruto was happily chomping his way through a box of Takoyaki as he explored every crevice of Konoha when he encountered Sasuke–Uchiha Sasuke–rummaging through a dumpster.

"What are you _doing_?" asked Naruto, his box now empty.

"Things." muttered the Uchiha helpfully, before he dove deeper into the trash.

Naruto waited until the boy resurfaced before questioning him again, "What sorts of things?"

"Stuff." admitted Sasuke, equally as helpfully as before.

The blond tried to continue the exchange. "What sort of—", until he was interrupted by Sasuke.

"What _is_ your problem? Who are you?"

The boy turned around and looked at Naruto before his face paled.

He whimpered before his eyes gained a steely glint and he barked harshly, "Not a word of this to father."

He would have looked intimidating, if not for the banana peel in his hair. Naruto held back a laugh as he cast his mind back to see why the Uchiha would think that he was part of his clan. After a second, he spoke, "I'm not an Uchiha."

Sasuke did not look convinced.

He did indeed look a bit like an Uchiha at first sight; his black wig, dark eyes and pale complexion (spending most of his time indoors does that to people) were indeed features typical of the average Uchiha.

"Alright, fine. I'll prove it to you."

Naruto took off his wig to reveal his blond hair, and then took out his contacts to reveal his bright blue eyes, and continued his questioning as he had determined that the boy should now be more susceptible to his demands

"Now, can you tell me what someone like you would be doing in a bin?"

The boy's eyes narrowed, before he icily responded, "What do you mean by 'someone like you'?"

Naruto continued, not knowing that he was entering a minefield, where even one misstep would blow up in his face. "The spare Uchiha heir."

The effect was instantaneous. Sasuke's demeanour plunged to sub-zero, visibly deflating.

He started in a defeated voice, "You're right."

The blond's eyes widened as he realised that his choice of words might not have been the best.

"I'm just a spare. A stupid, idiotic replacement that can _never_ compare to Nii-san. I'll be the spare and that's _all_ I'll ever be."

The Uchiha's grip on the edge of the dumpster loosened and he fell into it.

"Sasuke!" Naruto ran towards the dumpster and climbed onto it, seeing only a trace of black hair as the boy sank deeper into the trash, being enveloped by its stinky embrace.

The blond jumped in after him and found a hand amidst all the trash. He held onto it tightly and tried to find his way out of the bin.

Eventually, they made their way out. All of Naruto's muscles were aching. He couldn't believe how much bigger the bin was on the inside.

"A little help would be appreciated," muttered Naruto as he tried to haul Sasuke out of the bin.

Somehow, the boy heard and started to try and escape the bin's clutches. After much effort (and a great deal of vomiting), the blond managed to get the Uchiha onto the cold hard ground. He then noted that the boy was clutching a scroll in his hand.

The first thought that went through Naruto's mind was to pester the boy into asking him about his motives, but his mind reminded him of the books he read on human behaviour. He would need to comfort the boy.

"Sasuke…If you feel up to it, do you want to talk about it?" Naruto asked as he patted his shoulders in a comforting manner. The blond felt as if he had just made a huge mistake, but luckily, the black-haired boy was receptive to his demands. He nodded.

"What does it matter? You're just some random civilian that I'll probably never meet again."

Sasuke coughed, trying to get rid of the taste of rotten apples that snaked its way into his mouth. "Sure."

He licked his lips and spat trying to get rid of the taste.

"Where do I even begin?" He took a deep breath. "It all started when I was born. I have an older brother who is so much better than me. He's like a mountain compared to me, the anthill. My parents always compare him to me and expect me to be as good as him without even giving me the time of day."

He coughed again.

"Sure, my mother's alright, if not a bit scary. Father is the one I have problems with… he acts so… fake. It's like as if just talking to his son makes him suffer as much as drinking poison."

The boy shivered. "The only person who really cares about me is my brother."

Sasuke relaxed and leant against the bin as a small smile graced his lips. "He really is amazing! He takes me training, and we do survival training against boars! He always smiles around me, even if he doesn't smile around anybody else, and that's how I know that I'll _always_ be special to Nii-san, just like he's special to me! At least, he used to…but that doesn't matter. He's, well, perfect!"

He paused before continuing, "He became Anbu captain this year, and he's only _thirteen_!"

The boy paused and looked at Naruto incredulously, "You _do_ know what an Anbu is, right?"

The blond grinned and nodded. Sasuke stared at Naruto suspiciously before continuing, "He gained his Sharingan – my clan's bloodline limit – at _eight._ "

The boy paused, trying his best to emphasise his next sentence, " _My_ age."

The Uchiha spat, "And look at me! Sifting through garbage to retrieve a scroll for the easiest jutsu that my clan has. A stupid jutsu that allows me to make tiny harmless flames! I can't even kill flies like that, let alone the people that my brother did at _eight_."

The boy started to yell, "And you know what's worse? He's a _pacifist_! I don't even...I can't _even._ He's so gifted, and yet such a good person at heart. It would be better if he was horrible and hated me! At least then I could say that he was just another criminal, but…now…"

Sasuke felt like as if he was sinking deeper and deeper into the ground. He knew he was in a bad state, but not to the extent that he would confess his darkest secrets to a random civilian.

Naruto realised that it might be time to intervene. He thought for a bit about what he ought to say and then decided on, "You know Sasuke. It could be worse. Your parents could beat you and your brother could rub his superiority in your face."

The black-haired boy's eyes lost all hope. "Even you think he's better than me..."

"He is," Naruto said matter-of-factly, "but you know what Sasuke? That's fine because I'll tell you something, a word, that will solve all your problems."

Sasuke looked hopeful, "What?"

"Dattebayo!"

"Dattebayo? What does that even _mean_?" asked the boy confused.

"It means no worries." said Naruto nonchalantly.

Sasuke looked annoyed, "What does it actually mean? Do you take me for a fool or something?"

"Actually, it means whatever I want, because the original variation was something my mother said once, and since she died without telling me the meaning, it means whatever I want it to mean."

Sasuke's expression tensed as he just realised that he had been complaining about parents to a boy whose parents were dead.

Naruto continued. "At this moment, it means no worries. It's a part of my philosophy. Just live how you want to live. Do whatever you want, specialise in whatever you want. I love reading books and drawing and doing calligraphy from time to time and look at me. I'm perfectly normal, right?"

Sasuke looked at Naruto. "I have to be at the top of the academy, or else my parents will be even more disappointed in me, and that takes practise."

"Then make sure to take breaks or else you'll burn yourself out. It's not like you have any drive to do anything, right?"

"Just leave." the boy said in a defeated tone. "If Izanagi wills, we will meet again."

Naruto knew that the Uchiha clan were a bit different from the rest of the village. They were quite religious, to the point where their forefathers had named their greatest techniques after the Shinto deities. It was quite a different thing to hear someone speak of them.

"You know that you might get tetanus from some of the lacerations you received, right?"

Sasuke replied in a strangled tone. "Just go."

* * *

Naruto never met the boy again during his frequent forays into the village. He saw many things; people chasing chickens, chickens chasing people, ninjas chasing cats and cats chasing ninjas.

He could say one thing though—it felt like home. What made it even better was his discovery of a certain dish called Ramen, which was sold at a quaint restaurant called 'Ichiraku Ramen'.

It was the food of the gods, Naruto knew. He even made his taste buds extra sensitive just to get all the taste he could from each delicate string.

He liked Konoha.

It was so easy to get lost in and forget himself in. He remembered that one time when he was so lost, he ended up at a cemetery where a funeral was taking place for the father of a pink-haired girl around his age.

He was almost nine—just one more month to go. The blond had finished exploring almost every nook and cranny of Konoha, except for the areas where he didn't want to enter unless he had a good reason, like the red light district, and he'd almost finished all the books in his library, as well as finally maxing out all of his leisure skills.

It took a long time, but he was finally done with all his long-term goals.

But, just around the corner, would come an opportunity of a lifetime.

* * *

The Hokage entered Naruto's home and found him lying on a sofa reading his last remaining book. He looked quite happy, unlike his own son who had left home in anger.

The man's face relaxed as he looked at the boy, before approaching him. While doing so, it seemed he had been noticed.

Naruto placed his book down on the table next to him, before walking over and greeting the old man.

"Ohaiyo, Jiji!"

The old man replied likewise before he adopted a serious expression. After a few pleasantries, Sarutobi brought up the question he'd come to ask in the first place.

"Would you like to become a ninja, Naruto?"

The blond stood silently, his brain churning with what the Hokage had asked. The boy stayed silent even after a few minutes had passed, so Sarutobi decided to tell the boy that he didn't need to respond immediately.

"Take your time Naruto, but I need to know by tomorrow by 10:30 AM sharp."

"Okay, I'll make sure to tell you by then."

* * *

The Hokage's exit prompted Naruto to begin thinking about the offer. To become a ninja is something that many people would give an arm for, but…

The boy sat down and pondered, but he could not reach a conclusion as each argument had a counter-argument. He knew he could easily ask the Anbu for help to reach a conclusion, but he decided against it as he felt that he really needed to lower his dependence on them— they wouldn't always be there for him.

He thought and thought until he could think no more.

That was something he did frequently.

It yielded nothing. He still couldn't decide, so he did the next best thing. Naruto questioned each Anbu as to why they became a ninja. The answers, predictably, varied immensely.

One Anbu's answer was ridiculously generic. "I became a ninja, Naruto-sama because I come from a long line of ninja."

Birth. That was one reason. Naruto would have told him to stop calling him '-sama', but didn't, knowing that that it was a futile endeavour that would end in that Anbu laughing at Naruto's insistence.

The blond searched and asked another one.

"I joined the shinobi force because the civilian economy was suffering, and unemployment rates were rising in every country. It was not a good idea to stay as a civilian and since I had the ability to be a ninja, I became one. It also helps that I'd be able to protect my family—even if you aren't a ninja, they're _everywhere_."

Naruto thanked him and continued walking through the house to find another one. "We get stable and high pensions and paid leave for injuries or maternal reasons."

The Anbu paused, trying to think of what else lead her to become a ninja, "You get to explore the world and well… it's fun, Naruto-sama."

The blond was confused, "Fun? How is it fun to risk your life?"

The Anbu swiftly gave her response. "The latest census on ninja death rates were taken during the war and even in Anbu, we don't die that often. Regardless, the trade-off is worth it. Even if I die, my children will live comfortably for the rest of their lives. It is fun because being a ninja gives you a sense of purpose and lets you do things you would never be able to do in any other job."

Naruto again thanked her and continued on, this time trying to find the final occupant of this house—his Nii-san. He found him eventually, hiding in a corner, reading a book called Icha Icha paradise.

"Nii-san?" Naruto called. "What are you doing?"

The Anbu started fumbling with the little book in his hand, trying to find a place to hide it. Lacking practise, he managed to do it only when it was too late.

The blond's eyes widened in curiosity, "What's that book? Can I have it? A romance book? It looks like it…"

The Anbu interjected, "So, Naruto? What do you want?"

The Uzumaki began, "Why did you become—"

The Anbu interrupted Naruto again. "Is this about Hokage-sama's offer?"

The blond nodded.

"Why I became a ninja would not apply to you. I have a question for you Naruto. The answer should help you come to a decision."

He paused before continuing so that the boy could prepare himself. "If a bird came up to you and asked you whether it should try flying, what would you say to it?"

Naruto looked confused, "I would tell it to try, of course."

The Anbu hummed. "And what if it did, and didn't like it?"

"Well…I guess it wouldn't fly? Not like it _has_ to, but it's the smarter option to at least know how."

"And there's your answer." confirmed the Anbu.

"What? Can I actually drop out of the ninja programme whenever I want?" The blond paused and searched through his memories and found the relevant information. "Of course, of course I can. Ugh, how stupid of me. Please tell Hokage-sama that I do want to try being a ninja."

If Naruto could see the Anbu's face, he would have seen his mouth turning up in the semblance of a smile. "Sure, I'll send someone to do it."

Naruto made his way to leave and then he realised something and so turned around, only to notice that the man had already left. He needed to find that Anbu and ask him to restock his library with books relating to being a ninja.

* * *

 **R &R (Suggestions and advice are always welcome!)**


	5. Academy Days (1)

_"It hath sustained for an eon until the artful lady doth appeared. Thusly, at thy witching hour, she asketh of us a boon. We bestowed it unto her, for verily, we art merciful. "_

\- The Book of Log

* * *

 **C5: Academy Days (Pt.1)**

 **Beta Reader: Izaranna**

* * *

Sunlight filtered into a room with an extremely warm colour scheme, ranging from bright yellows and oranges to the darkest of reds. The most dominant feature of the room were its walls; the areas closest to the ground were covered with red handprints made from varying shades of darks and lights, suffusing onto the walls after smearing the floor liberally.

Above it was a childishly made tree with branches extending from the roof all the way to the centre of the floor. Each branch had exceedingly detailed cocoons drooping from them and surrounding the tree were bodies, ranging from barely recognisable stick men to unrealistically realistic corpses.

It was a picture that recorded the entirety of Naruto's drawing skill, from level one all the way to hundred.

It was a picture that came to the blond in a dream that he had no trouble remembering.

The feeling of death; corpses all splayed on the ground like trash in a rubbish dump, with a stench to match, their entrails all displayed callously for anyone to see.

The feeling of blood; its sticky embrace caressing his tongue like ramen.

The feeling of dread and defeat; of overwhelming loss and despair.

At the centre of the grotesque composition lay a tree, its form fleeting, with the only substantial thing on it being the cocoons of humans hanging from the plant like fruits.

He wasn't sure why he dreamt about it, but it plagued him. It was too realistic, he had always felt. He knew dreams like this could occur. He regretted having decided to read that one horror book that night before going to sleep.

It was funny that today of all days was when he had the dream again—the day he was going to join the academy.

The blond's eyes shot open with trepidation. He could still feel the red liquid on his lips.

 _I really wish I didn't have such good imagination sometimes._

He rose and performed his daily ablutions, intent on ridding himself of the remnants of the dream. Naruto opened his mouth to greet his Anbu compatriots but stopped himself. He remembered that they told him that they were leaving now that their mission had ended.

He'd known this day was coming, but no amount of foreknowledge stopped the waves of sadness from engulfing him.

He'd _tried_ to cry himself to sleep, but had failed once more. The blond had read that that was the appropriate response to the loss of parental figures, but his **[Gamer's Mind]** prevented such things from occurring. He just didn't see the need to do so.

Naruto ate his food in quiet and in the process, noticed an envelope stuck to his door. He finished and went to examine it. Within it lay a letter and 500 ryo.

 _Dear Naru-chan,_

 _Today is the first day since you were born that you have not had someone watching over you. I have left 500 ryo on the door, which will be taped here on the second of every month. Your food will be replaced as required by Anbu every fortnight, and every alternate month, Anbu will visit to ensure that you are living safely and healthily._

 _Enjoy being a ninja Naru-chan, or should I say, Naruto? You_ are _now in training to become a ninja, after all. Be safe and take care! If you are ever in danger, you know what to do._

 _Yours truly,  
Sarutobi Hiruzen  
Jiji_

The blond read the letter and took out the money.

"Now, what do I do with this?"

Naruto didn't need to wait long as the moment those words came out of his mouth, his status screen materialised.

He remembered that beneath his attributes there was the word 'ryo', along with a zero next to it, so he tried to find a way to transfer his cash into that attribute.

After much searching, he found a box labelled cash. The blond placed the 500 ryo note in it and watched it vanish, only to be replaced by a ryo attribute.

 _Hmmm, if this is how it works, then would simply thinking…ten ryo._

The moment the last two words flitted across his mind, ten ryo appeared in his hands.

 _How quaint. Now, time to get dressed and leave._

Naruto stepped out of his house and was greeted with another screen.

 _ **Academy Days (1):**_

 _ **Today is your first day at the Academy!**_

 _ **It's a start to a new life! And with a new life comes new connections. The more you have, the higher your chances of survival will be, and to do that, you will need to make sure to have a good first impression. What happens if you fail? Look at the completion failures!**_

 _ **Objectives:**_

 _ **Time Attack - Arrive at the Academy on time (6:45 AM)**_

 _ **Completion Award:**_

 _ **[Alarm]**_

 _ **+5 EXP**_

 _ **Completion Failure:**_

 _ **-5 Reputation with everyone in Class [Umino Iruka].**_

 _ **Accept?**_

 _ **Yes/No**_

Naruto should have been happy that he'd finally gotten a quest.

He had asked Nii-san to get him as many books as he could find on games and knew that they were instrumental to success, especially in his case, as it seemed that they would be the only way to get experience points for the time being.

The blond walked through the bustling streets of Konoha, looking at everything with a smile on his face. The village still hadn't lost its lustre to Naruto. He decided to eat some Takoyaki, using his newly discovered ability to pay for it. He simply put his hands in his pocket and materialised the money to hide his ability. He had plenty of time, after all.

He walked towards the academy and noticed many parents bringing their children. Many clan children were present, which made Naruto smile.

 _Perhaps the quest is correct. Plenty of connections can be made here. Hmm._

The instant Naruto walked through the doors of the Academy, he was greeted by a screen informing him that he had succeeded in his quest.

The blond nodded and closed the screen. He continued his way through the Academy. Taking special care to be quiet as the weathered timber flooring creaked at the slightest of movement, but that didn't stop the other kids from running across the ground.

Naruto opened the door labelled Umino Iruka, remembering that the quest did indirectly mention that this was his class.

Children.

There were so many of them.

Naruto was dazed by the number of kids that were in front of him. He had been to the village centre but seeing all of them gathered in one group was different. Especially considering that they were all here to do the same thing.

He had become used to seeing seas of colours floating over everyone's heads—bars that denoted their health and chakra levels, numbers that denoted their level, a mugshot that denoted their emotion, and words that showed him their affiliations, traits, titles and names.

Luckily, he had discovered how to turn it off or, rather, hide them.

He muttered 'Selective vision'.

 _Much better…_

The blond scanned the seats in front of him in an attempt to find a place to sit and while doing so, he discovered a boy who was glaring at him.

 **Name:** Uchiha Sasuke

 **HP:** 100/100

 **CP:** 150/150

 **Level:** 2

 **Rank:** Academy Student (+ 50% EXP gain until level 5, then 25% until level 10)

 **Affiliations:** Konoha (Medium) **;** Uchiha (Strong)

 **Traits:** Sharingan (Dormant); Lightning Nature (First); ?

Naruto's lips turned into what some would call a half smile.

 _We meet at last, after all this time._

The Uchiha was surrounded by many girls, so the blond continued searching for a seat and found one next to the heir of the Aburame Clan.

 **Name:** Aburame Shino

 **HP:** 120/120

 **CP:** 100/200

 **Level:** 3

 **Rank:** Academy Student (+ 50% EXP gain until level 5, then 25% until level 10)

 **Affiliations:** Konoha (Strong) **;** Aburame (Strong)

 **Traits:** Insect Symbiosis (Passive); Earth Nature (First)

The Aburame heir was wearing dark round sunglasses and a sea-green jacket with a high upturned collar. He seemed preoccupied with an insect on the table.

 _The only possible insect it matches is an extinct one, so perhaps it is its descendant that has been bred by the Aburame. Why? It secretes poison to give it a competitive edge against other predators._

Naruto was about to speak to the boy but was interrupted by a man who was clearing his throat at the front of the class. He was a chunin—a Level 25 one to be exact.

"Class," the man began but was ignored by the chattering of the class. He repeated himself, beginning to get irritated at being ignored.

"CLASS!" Iruka bellowed.

The students became silent in an instant.

"Let's begin this year on a better note than last year, hmm? Before we begin our lesson, we have a new student joining our class, Uzumaki Naruto."

The man picked up a calendar from one of his drawers and flicked through it. "I will reintroduce myself. My name is Umino Iruka and I will be your instructor for…"

The man paused and then continued. "Three years, three-hundred and fifty days, six hours, twenty minutes and ten seconds, after which you will either have to retake the last year or will have become a shinobi."

Everyone stared at him in awe at how he managed to calculate something like that. Some wondered if he kept track of it because he couldn't wait to get rid of them.

Those 'some' would be correct.

Nara Shikamaru, the heir of the Nara clan, opened his narrow brown eyes, counting on his fingers to double check his teacher's calculations, seeing as how he was counting it down too.

His face could have been carved out of mud with how droopy his features were, and how bored he was at having to sit in a classroom. His shoulder length black hair was tied in a spiky ponytail, and simple silver hoop earrings glinted from his ears.

"This year, just like last year, I will be teaching you everything except for taijutsu, which will still be taught by Mizuki-sensei." Iruka informed the class, mostly for Naruto's benefit.

Mizuki appeared from the shadows like an evil bat with a grin on his face. He wore his forehead protector like a bandanna, which kept his blue-tinted white shoulder-length hair out of his face, and green eyes.

"Today, I will go over the basics of what we will cover this year in your curriculum."

He took a deep breath and declared, "We will operate from Monday to Friday, where we will dedicate each day to a different task. Fridays will be dedicated to weekly review sessions, and on the last Friday of each month, we will do a review session of the entire month's lessons. On the last Friday of the year, there will be tests to determine your progress and overall ranking in the class."

Iruka drank some water from the glass on his table before continuing. "Mondays will be for History and Tuesdays, Taijutsu theory. On Wednesday, you will be taught the core civilian subjects; on Thursday, physical conditioning, from Bukijutsu to obstacle courses."

Umino pulled down the blackboard and began his speech, "This term will be spent covering the history of our illustrious village, Konoha. We will begin with its founding. Our First Hokage, Hashirama Senju founded the village in….."

Naruto zoned out, having already lost interest in the topic at hand. He already knew everything there was to know about Hashirama Senju and all the Hokage. To pass the time, the blonde decided to engage the other boy in a conversation.

"Is that an Itazura beetle?"

The blond could tell that the Aburame was looking at him. "No. They are extinct."

He waited to see whether the boy would continue, but he didn't, so he tried to restart the conversation. "Is it an Aburame cross-breed, then?"

There was a pause which was surprisingly broken by Shino. "Yes and no. It is a cross-breed, but we didn't do it. It occurred naturally. We found it recently around Konoha. It is surprising, what can be found hiding in innocent tomato plants."

The Uzumaki interjected. "Has it cross-bred with the Konoha beetle?"

The boy replied with a hint of surprise. "Yes, how did you guess?"

"It has a dark green thorax and thin faint lines on its abdomen, which are very similar to the Konoha beetle."

Shino nodded, before continuing in a more excited manner. "We are planning on breeding it with the Kikaichu and its cousins to tame it, in hopes that it will be more agreeable to becoming a part of our symbiosis, as its poison gas is quite handy"

The blond blurted without thinking. "Poison gas! Why did you bring it to the Academy? What is its potency? Is it… oh. You probably…"

Shino smirked. "It has had its poison-secreting glands removed."

"That's pretty cool. And so is being able to harbour insects and make them eat your enemies alive. I might even go as far as to say that it's even cooler than jutsu. However, it is quite limited in its functionality, and gives the user a really bad weakness."

"Which is?" cut in Shino.

"Fire?" said Naruto, beginning to doubt the veracity of his thoughts on the Kikaichu.

"Really?" questioned the boy, trying to hold back a smile.

"Yeah; a book I read said so."

"Well, that book's wrong. My brothers managed to convince his insects to allow us to genetically modify its genes with a Taika worm we managed to buy from Amegakure, after which we will make the Rinkaichu more predisposed to mating with our more normal Kikaichu. Eventually, we will have made all our insects resistant to fire. No flames could kill them, except for perhaps Lady Amaterasu's flames, or a Nekomata's blue fire."

Naruto was impressed. "That sounds really cool."

"I know."

The Aburame resumed observing the insect. Naruto tried his best to listen to the speech, but soon enough, his eyelids turned to lead and fell.

Within what felt like a moment, he was pulled out of sleep's loving embrace by Shino, who was nudging him.

"What?"

The boy looked in front of him and noticed that Iruka was looking pointedly at him. He assumed the worst and simply asked him to repeat the question, hoping that that was the reason Shino had woken him up.

"You especially should be paying attention, having missed an entire year of education! Regardless, what was the name of the first Hokage's wife?"

"Uzumaki Mito."

"That is...correct." The Chunin looked at the boy with surprise, assuming that, contrary to what he had thought, the boy was actually listening.

The blond went back to sleep, even though he was interrupted periodically with questions about the lesson.

Over the next few days, school became a part of his daily routine, and his life returned to a fastidious equilibrium. He made up for the sleep he lost in the night due to burning what books he had in class. After that, his nightly escapades included chakra control, ninjutsu, and taijutsu forms. The only days when he was awake during class were Thursdays and Fridays, where physical activities ensured that adrenaline kept his brain wide awake, which was a good thing, considering how many missions he received during those activities.

* * *

The first Thursday saw Naruto getting his second mission, immediately after Mizuki let them have free reign on practising Bukijutsu.

 _ **Academy Days (2):**_

 _ **Bukijutsu practice!**_

 _ **Would you look at this? You can't even throw a paper ball, let alone a kunai! Time to bring your skills up to snuff, eh? Reach LV10 of [Projectile Weaponry] to gain a maximum of 10% accuracy when throwing any projectile! Accuracy is dependent on luck and level of skill.**_

 _ **Completion Award:**_

 _ **+5 EXP**_

 _ **Completion Failure:**_

 _ **-5 Reputation with everyone in Class [Umino Iruka].**_

 _ **Accept?**_

 _ **Yes or No**_

Naruto nodded and tapped yes, prepared to practise his jutsu repeatedly until his limbs felt like lead. By the end of his lesson, he was greeted with two screens, one informing him that he'd failed his mission, and the other telling him that he'd gained three levels in [Projectile Weaponry].

At the end of the day, he was cornered by Sasuke before he could leave.

"You were a ninja! You never told me! Even though you're doing worse than most civilians…you're still a ninja! Not a word of what happened that day to anyone, got it?"

Naruto smiled. "Yeah, sure."

The Uchiha looked at Naruto, hesitant, but he continued, "And thank you for your help on that day. I've improved a lot, so don't go thinking that I'll break down at any moment, okay?"

The blond nodded and Sasuke spoke yet again. "You know what? You aren't half-bad. At least, you're not as bad as almost everyone else here... I'm the only Uchiha in this class, and I'm the clan head's son too. They've all been tripping around me, trying to get in my good books. Aburame and Inuzuka're the only others who're like you, but Aburame's weird and Inuzuka's…well, he has bad breath."

The Uchiha paused and Naruto looked confused. He wasn't really sure why the boy was confiding in him like this; Naruto only listened to him when Sasuke needed someone to listen to him. Perhaps this was a sign that he wanted to be friends with Naruto? He remembered reading such things in his books on friendship. Friends listen to each other and help them through tough times.

"Would you like to be friends then, Sasuke?" asked Naruto who had decided to make sure that he wasn't just assuming things. He stuck out his hand in a gesture of acceptance, waiting for him to take it in the event that he felt the same.

There was a pause.

The blond started to withdraw his hand, feeling that perhaps his attempt at making friends had failed and that he had ruined future relationships with Sasuke, until he felt another hand close over his hand.

"Sure! I can't play with you today since my brother has decided to pick me up, but maybe tomorrow."

The blond felt even more confused. "Play?"

"Yes, play. Haven't you ever played with anyone before?"

Naruto was worried that his reply might make the boy feel that he wasn't worthy of being friends with, but the blond also remembered that his books told him that honesty is the best of policies.

"No, I haven't played with anyone before."

The Uchiha frowned. "That sucks. I don't know how to play like other kids normally do either, so I guess we should try finding others? Or we could do something else?"

"Let's try both, but you need to leave now. You wouldn't want to keep your brother waiting, would you?"

Sasuke nodded and bid him good-bye with a promise to see him the next day.

* * *

"Iruka-sensei is ill today, so I will be covering your review session."

Mizuki grinned at the class from the podium, before continuing. "We shall begin today's review session with a little 'warm-up'. To the grounds, everyone."

The whole class filed outside underneath the greying clouds. The white-haired instructor coughed to get his pupil's attention, before giving them their instructions. "All right. Laps around the outer field, until I tell you to stop."

Everyone became quiet as they stared at him, waiting for him to tell them to start. Unbeknownst to them, he had expected them to have already begun. "What are you waiting for? Get to it!"

The entire class began to jog around the academy's ground in complete silence, except for a brown haired boy who slowed his pace down to meet up with another boy. "This is going to be a breeze!"

Mizuki interjected before the other boy could reply, "Inuzuka Kiba and Daiki Tanaka, stop doing laps. You've failed!"

"What?!" yelled both of the boys.

"Stop wasting my time! If you slow down, you fail. Back into the classroom, both of you. Revise for next period's history test."

"Hai!"

* * *

Eventually, the class was called out one by one because they inevitably slowed down due to the water cascading from the sky. All except for two people.

"Hey, Sasuke! I remember a time when you used to be faster than me. But you're actually really slow, huh? I'm on my fiftieth lap. You?"

"I'm on my fiftieth lap too, idiot!"

"Not for long!"

Naruto ran ahead of Sasuke, prompting the raven haired boy to try and surpass him. However, he failed and decided to return to his previous pace. The blond looked backwards with a grin on his face as he fast approached the lap marker, but his temporary lapse of attention, coupled with his fast pace and the slippery ground caused Naruto to slip and fall headfirst.

"Uzumaki Naruto, you have failed. The Uchiha is, unsurprisingly, the winner!"

Naruto spat out the mud in his mouth and immediately looked ahead, trying to find the finishing line, but the rain blocked any chance of him seeing anything in front of him. He walked into the general direction of the academy until he realised that the voice came from behind him which would mean that he had slid past the finish line.

"Why did Sasuke win? Shouldn't you have waited, until he reached the 52nd lap, before declaring him the winner?" asked the boy.

Mizuki looked at Naruto with raised eyebrows and answered him. "This was an endurance event, Naruto. The last one who was left standing would be the winner. Endurance and patience are very important attributes a ninja, something which you clearly need to learn. If you hadn't tried to show-off, Sasuke wouldn't have been the winner; any ninja could've seen that he was running out of steam after you two tried to race an entire lap, which I recall was your 45th lap, and—"

Naruto interrupted his white-haired instructor, "Actually it was my 35th lap."

"Don't interrupt me when I am speaking! Really, kids these days! Haven't your parents taught you any manners?"

Naruto's eye's darkened. "My parents are dead."

"Really?" Mizuki continued in a tone completely devoid of emotion. "They probably died due to that accursed nine-tailed demon."

"Probably."

Mizuki stared into the distance for a few seconds and then shook his head. "Anyway, you two! Go inside."

Naruto looked to his side and started a bit when he saw two things: Sasuke, and a red coloured icon with the symbol for infection on it. Focusing on it, a window popped up.

 **Rhinovirus** : Infectious, not life threatening.

 **Treatment** : Rest, hydration, Antihistamines, and nasal decongestants

After changing, they began walking to the classroom.

Sasuke looked at him with a grin. "You've really improved Naruto, even though I'm still better. I remember when you first came here—you couldn't even throw a kunai straight! You kept hitting people's butts!"

The blond glared at him, "It was one time!"

"Yeah, yeah. Anyways, I heard about a cool place we could go to tomorrow!"

"Actually Sasuke, I'd recommend that we don't go anywhere. You have a cold."

Sasuke gave him a funny look. "And how would you know that?"

 _Well, I can't say it's because I have multiple screens and icons, that only I seem to be able to see, floating around everywhere, and one of them told me you have rhinovirus...hmm, has he begun to express the symptoms of a cold? Yes, yes, he has. With the weather on my side, he should hopefully just accept it._

"You have a slightly runny nose, your posture has changed, most likely due to a slight ache, and you are sweating a bit. Due to the weather being as it is, all the signs point to the common cold."

The Uchiha sneezed. "Forget I asked. Should've figured you knew these kinds of things. Anyway, let's go and see how the others are doing."

The duo walked to their classroom, only to discover silence as all of the other students were busy scribbling away at the paper in front of them. Sasuke nudged Naruto to make him speak to Mizuki first.

"Mizuki-sensei?"

Mizuki looked at Naruto and, after a moment, reached into one of the drawers and took out two scrolls.

"Because you two managed to come first and second, you can try figuring out how to use this jutsu. They will come in handy for when you become ninja in a few months' time."

"Thanks, Mizuki-sensei!" exclaimed both of the boys, happy to learn their first new jutsu in months.

Everyone looked up and glared at them, noticing what was in their hands, but they were immediately yelled at by Mizuki to continue writing.

"You can both go to training room 8 to learn these techniques. No messing around!"

The blond gestured questioningly at the classroom, while Sasuke's face fell, having realised that the blond would probably ask their teacher why they weren't doing the test with the others.

Mizuki grinned. "As a reward for winning the race by a wide margin, I'll let you off the test, but don't tell Iruka-sensei. Now go on! You can dismiss yourselves when the day ends."

"Hai!" the two whispered.

The duo went to the training room and sat down in front of their scrolls. While Sasuke had his opened and was peering at it, the blond was going through his recently completed quest.

 _ **Academy Days (70):**_

 _ **Racing time!**_

 _ **Run and run, till the cows come home! Either come in first or second to complete this quest. Endurance is key, so remember to keep up a sustainable pace!**_

 _ **Completion Award:**_

 _ **+20 EXP**_

 _ **Random Jutsu Scroll [Rank: E]**_

 _ **Completion Failure:**_

 _ **-15 Reputation with instructor [Mizuki]**_

 _ **[Collect Reward]**_

 _All that practise paid off! Jutsu, here I come!_

Naruto tapped **[Collect Reward]** and received his reward.

 _Now, how much_ _ **[Time]**_ _do I have remaining?_

 _ **Time**_

 _ **2:45:12 [PM] {H: M: S}**_

The Uchiha turned around and talked to Naruto, "Which one did you get?"

"Hmm? Let me check."

The blond opened his scroll and by reflex tapped yes.

 _Oops._

There was a pause.

"What are you doing Naruto?" questioned the Uchiha.

"Um, nothing? It was the rope escape jutsu."

"Ah. I already know that one, so you can keep it when you're done."

Naruto went over the name of the Jutsu in his mind and then realised something. "I need you to tie me up with rope."

"Sure," Sasuke said, shrugging.

Sasuke proceeded to tie Naruto to a chair with some rope he'd found in a cupboard, unsurprisingly labelled 'Rope'.

Naruto thought **[Escape]** and felt his chakra slither into the rope and rip apart the bindings like a snake. However, in reality, it took a few minutes.

"Neat! Would you like to see mine?" Sasuke helped Naruto up and put the chair back.

The blond nodded. The Uchiha picked up his scroll and showed it to him. The **[Disguise]** Jutsu.

"That sounds pretty useful!" exclaimed Naruto, his mind going through the potential uses of such a technique.

The bell rang signalling the end of the day.

"It does, doesn't it? Anyway, I'll see you later. You have to come with me, though. The place I want to take you is amazing! I heard it from one of my cousins that they even paid a thousand ryo to get into one of the places there."

"Sure, Sasuke. We'll go there."

The two bid each other good-bye and departed to their respective homes.

* * *

 **R &R (Suggestions and advice are always welcome!)**


	6. Academy Days (2)

_"The lady plead'eth with us to halt all the conflict in this land and we didst. Truly our benevolence knoweth no bounds."_

\- The Book of Log

* * *

 **C6: Academy Days (Pt.2)**

 **Beta Reader: Izaranna**

* * *

On one fine day, Sasuke elbowed Naruto in the ribs, immediately waking him up.

If the blond was anybody else, he would have probably screamed in pain at the amount of force the Uchiha used to wake him up, but luckily, Naruto was anything _but_ normal.

He had a very peculiar skill called **[Gamer's Mind]** that gave him the patience of a saint and a head as cool as a freezer.

Naruto simply opened his eyes, used to Sasuke's painful wake up calls, and asked him why he'd abruptly woken him up in the middle of a wonderful dream— starring him saving the world from a gigantic squid by via a super-ultra-awesome ray gun of doom, made from the gold he'd found at the end of a very elusive rainbow.

"My mother invited you over to my place."

"Why?"

Sasuke turned his head towards the blond. "I'm pretty sure most kids would have said when instead of why."

Naruto stared at Sasuke with indifference. A staring contest began between the two boys and, like most contests, only one person could be the victor.

"Fine…fine, my mother told me that she knew your mother and wanted to meet you. Today, in fact. Right after school."

"Really? Why did she not inform you of this sooner? I would have loved to know of this a few days ago… so that I could adjust my schedule appropriately," whispered back the blond.

"Mother decided only today morning to invite you over. She hasn't even told father or brother about it yet. It's supposed to be a surprise."

The blond pondered for a moment on this new development before giving his response. "Okay. Do I need to change?"

"Not if you don't want to. It's a casual visit."

Naruto nodded and put his head down to go back to sleep, only to be interrupted by a piece of chalk and a sudden sharp feeling of pain.

"Why do you always never pay attention, Naruto?" yelled a clearly annoyed Iruka. The blond didn't require his HUD (Heads-up display) to tell him that his teacher was extremely agitated.

Naruto covered his mouth with his hand and whispered to Sasuke, "What was he talking about?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and whispered back, "How to construct angles using a compass and a ruler."

Naruto responded to his teacher. "I am extremely sorry for not paying attention."

"Admitting that you're wrong without doing anything to correct your behaviour is just as bad! Since you act like you know everything, how about you come to the board and demonstrate it to the class, hmm?"

Most of the class laughed, finding their classmate's antics amusing, but it didn't last long because the blond simply grinned and walked down towards the board and asked his teacher for a board compass and ruler.

"I didn't actually expect you to come down. Regardless, if you actually know how to do it, you might as well show it to the class." Umino Iruka handed over his mathematic tools to Naruto who immediately set to work on the blackboard, drawing angles of all sorts; 60, 30, 18, 120, 90, 45. The entire class was silent as they watched the blonde actually doing what was said earlier on in the class.

"Good job, you may return to your seat."

* * *

"What exactly should we do at my home?" asked Sasuke as he walked with Naruto to the Uchiha compound.

"I don't know. It's your home. You are the host, you would know best."

The two walked in a companionable silence until they reached the walls of the Uchiha compound.

"I've always wondered why your clan has walls around their compound…" the blond muttered, admiring the imposing girth of the boundary while Sasuke talked to the guards at the entrance.

"Father says that it's to keep out the 'riff-raff'."

"The… what?" questioned Naruto who was confused by the Uchiha's choice of words.

"Forget it," sighed the boy. "Let's just go."

The duo walked into the compound and followed the main path, which led to the home of the current clan head. On the way, Naruto could hear music being played, one instrument after another. Unfortunately, it was quiet enough to make him feel that asking Sasuke about it would lead to more questions about his unrealistically good hearing.

He didn't need a repeat of the 'tape' incident.

Eventually, they arrived at an extremely scenic home with a large garden and a little pond to the side.

The Uchiha tried to open the door, but discovered, to his dismay, that it was locked, so he knocked and in a few minutes the door was opened by a black-haired woman wearing a cooking apron.

"Ah, Sasuke… and you've brought Naruto!"

The woman stood up a bit straighter.

"I was expecting the both of you to come a bit later, so the food isn't ready yet. How about you two go to the lake?"

The two nodded.

"And take Fugaku with you. He's still sulking because of that botched up investigation yesterday, so some fresh air should do him some good."

The woman turned around and found her husband sitting in a corner, reading a newspaper whose date was suspiciously three days old.

"Husband dear, won't you take Sasuke and his friend to the lake? After all, isn't today the perfect day to do so?"

The head of the Uchiha clan lowered his newspaper. "I would love to, but as you can see, I am a bit preoccupied with this very interesting newspaper—"

"That's three days old," finished the Uchiha matriarch.

"Yes, but that's beside the point, so sadly my answer is very much a-"

Mikoto glared at the man with a look that promised a world of pain if he didn't acquiesce to her demands.

He gulped, "Yes?"

She smiled. "Good, good. Now, off you go! Everything should be ready by four."

The clan head walked out of the house with an even older newspaper in tow. The two boys followed behind him.

* * *

"Why on earth did you decide to pelt that little kid with chakra charged stones, Sasuke?"

The Uchiha harrumphed in reply to Naruto's question as they walked back with his father to his house as it was nearing four.

"I thought he was a rabbit."

Naruto's expression was flabbergasted. "That doesn't make it any better."

The two were interrupted by a chuckle from the man walking beside them. Naruto's head shot straight up, just in time to see the man's blood red eyes (with an extremely strange pattern in it that involved three spokes and four dots).

Right across the street, an elderly man slumped over.

 _What in the world was that?_

Sasuke looked up, too late to see the Sharingan in his father's eyes. "Are you alright father?" he asked.

His father never laughed. He was always grumpy and strict when training him. He might sometimes smile if something particularly strange or funny happened, but never did he laugh.

"I'm fine Sasuke. In fact, more than fine."

The three headed back to the Uchiha head's house, only to find dried blood underneath the door and the pavement leading up to it.

The man's mood switched from joy to fear. "Stay out here, I'll check."

The Uchiha head walked into the house and appeared to have triggered a trap as a knife came flying from the kitchen. His eyes glowed red and, in one sharp motion, he tried to catch the knife, but it went through his fingers as it was coated in chakra. The two boys managed to dodge it just in time as it pierced through the tree and made a large hole in the perimeter wall. Fugaku walked into the kitchen with the boys trailing behind him, unbeknownst to him.

"Oh! Hello dear… I thought you were another one of those Root Anbu again."

Mikoto Uchiha stood right next to the wash basin with blood covering her front and dripping from her sleeves. It was quite obvious that she had tried to wash the blood away as her hands had a reddish tinge. The most dominant thing was not the blood, but her crimson eyes, which were more vivid than the almost luminous blood in the sink.

"It seems that Danzo was a bit too zealous in his mission. He seemed to have forgotten to tell his minions that we weren't supposed to be dealt with."

The woman took off her apron and stuffed into the washing machine and went back to washing her hands, before continuing, "Right after you left, a root Anbu attempted to attack me, so I taught him a lesson on how to actually use a kunai to effectively kill someone."

The Uchiha matriarch kicked something with a resounding thud. The boys immediately looked down and were only mildly disgusted to see an eyeless corpse. It seems the Academy's desensitization program had worked.

"Another Anbu tried to ambush me from the ceiling, but well…"

Having rid herself of all the blood on her skin, she went to check the steaming food. "Perfect. Oh yes, the masked fool is now in the broom cupboard with a slit throat. Very messy business."

She nodded to herself, before looking around and taking note of which parts of the house were damaged.

"Are there anymore?"

"No, clearly because they thought that they could underestimate a housewife." She muttered the last half of the sentence with disdain.

While taking stock of the collateral damage, she discovered the two boys and gasped. "Oh! I'm so sorry you had to see that son, and you too Naruto. How about you take Naruto to your room while your father and I clear up this mess and serve up food? Don't worry about the blood, it seems as if all of it has escaped unscathed."

The duo made their way out into the hallway, only to hear the door creak open to reveal a teenager with jet black hair that framed his face. He wore arm guards and a flak jacket that seemed to have been only just polished. The gleaming metal's luminescence paled in comparison to his vivid scarlet pupils which held a swirling esoteric pattern that Naruto could barely make out.

It deactivated almost instantly, giving Naruto barely a millisecond to see it. In fact, he was pretty sure if he couldn't revisit memories at will and manipulate the speed at which they ran, he would never have seen Itachi's Sharingan.

"Hello, Sasuke. I see you've brought Naruto-kun over."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "Nii-san!"

The boy tried to run towards his brother but was stopped by Naruto.

"You'll slip."

He decided to walk this time towards his brother and embraced him.

Mikoto took this opportunity to see her eldest son, "Itachi! You're back?"

The Uchiha heir signed a response to his mother behind Sasuke's back.

 **IT-IS-DONE**

The woman smiled. "Why don't you go change and then help us clean-up for dinner."

"Certainly, mother."

Sasuke burst out, "Can we help too?", but quickly changed his statement as he realised that he hadn't even asked Naruto whether he wanted to do so.

"That is if Naruto doesn't mind."

The blond looked at his best friend's family and considered his answer, before giving his response. "Sure."

By the time they were done, Naruto had learnt more than he ever felt he would need to know about blood, it properties and how to clean it up; from how to do it naturally to the best products to use to do so.

Dinner was served and everyone dug in with gusto, but just before they managed to finish, they were interrupted by a knock at the door.

The Uchiha head and heir finished off their food and placed it in the kitchen's sparkling wash basin, before going to answer the door.

A few minutes later, just as Naruto finished eating, they returned and announced that they would be back in a few hours. The door slammed shut and just as it did so, the Uchiha matriarch decided to begin addressing the main reason for his invite.

"Mmm, Naruto-kun? I decided to invite you here because I only very recently learnt that you were indeed the son of a friend of mine. Would you like me to talk to you about your mother?"

The blond nodded, trying not to look too eager.

"Your mother and I were as I said earlier, friends." The Uchiha matriarch changed her sitting position to something more comfortable. "Best friends, in fact. We first met in the academy, when she was setting up one of her more…. precarious pranks."

* * *

" _What are you doing with that deer?" asked a young Uchiha Mikoto, her hands on her hips and irritation clearly written on her face._

 _The red haired girl who she was speaking to tried her best to hide the struggling adolescent deer behind her back. She gulped in fear and hurriedly said, "Nothing!"_

 _Mikoto's eyes bored into her, "Why do you have a bucket of paint next to your feet?"_

" _That's none of your business!"_

" _Are you trying to pull off one of your pranks again?"_

" _So what if I am? What're ya goin to do? Rat me out!"_

 _The Uchiha carefully thought out a response to the flustered girl and then responded, "Maybe! Your pranks are extremely distracting and waste time, that could be spent learning."_

" _About what? Some lame history about our, oh so precious Nidaime who died like a million years ago, or something equally as boring. You should relax and have some fun for once in your life, instead of acting like a prim and proper princess."_

" _What do you mean by me not having fun? I have fun!"_

 _Kushina grinned. The Uchiha heiress fell for her trap, hook, line and sinker._

" _When was the last time you had fun, hmm? Go on; bet you can't!"_

 _The black-haired girl tried to wrack her brains for a response. "I….train?"_

" _Willingly? Not your clan coercing you?"_

" _Fine, um, I read?"_

" _Textbooks and ninja material?"_

" _Yes, yes, fine I get your point," The Uchiha admitted, "But how does letting you prank sensei benefit me?"_

 _The Uzumaki decided to invite the girl to join in on her mischief and, to her surprise, she accepted. "If I join you, you have to tell me what you're going to do with that paint. And the deer."_

 _The red haired girl smirked before beckoning the other girl towards her. Mikoto approached her hesitantly as she pushed the deer towards her and pointed at its belly._

" _See here?"_

 _The girl was pointing at a painted number. "As ya can see, I have painted the number, one, here. I have a couple more deers I "borrowed" from the Nara reserve, and I'll label 'em two and three. Then, everyone'll spend all day looking for the rest of 'em, and we won't have any classes!"_

 _Mikoto interrupted the girl. "And no one will know it was us?"_

" _Geez Mikoto-chan, you're such a worrywart!"_

 _The girl in question glared back at the Uzumaki heiress._

" _Fine, we could be all stealthy and have hideouts, and all that other complicated stuff…actually, that sounds like a lot of fun! So, what do you say? I could use a Sharingan!"_

 _Mikoto thought over the girl's offer and decided, for the first time in her life, to make a decision by herself. The first of many to come. "The prank needs work."_

 _Kushina motioned for the girl to continue. "If we miss out a number on one of the deers, the instructors will spend all their time searching for a non-existent deer."_

 _The red haired girl's shock was evident in her face at hearing an actually good idea from such a studious and serious fellow student. "Ya know what?" The girl slung an arm around Mikoto's neck. "You're cruel. I like you! This could be the start of a beautiful friendship."_

 _Mikoto tried to say something but was interrupted by a deer running past her._

* * *

Mikoto gave the two kids an extremely embellished version of the actual events, "—and by the end of the day, we were best friends. She even made me your godmother."

Naruto's eyes immediately steeled. "Godmother? Then why have I never seen you before this?"

Sasuke also looked at his mother. "You're his godmother? How come I never knew about this?"

The Uchiha matriarch's mood dropped. "Well, like I said earlier. When I found out about you, I wanted to first make sure that you were actually _her_ Naruto. I was under the impression that you were dead you see."

"Why would I be dead?" questioned the blond, not sure if he actually wanted to know the reason, but letting his curiosity win over anyway.

"I'd never actually heard of you until Sasuke brought you up. From what he told me, I didn't think you could be Kushina-chan's son; you're quite different from your parents, and I guess I kind of had the notion that their son would be even a little bit like them. I see now that that was just me being…well, me missing them far more than I should."

Silence permeated the room as the blond thought about the newly discovered identity of his mother. He needed a book on the Uzumaki clan, or he could just ask Jiji for more information.

His scheming was interrupted by the Uchiha matriarch.

"Would you look at that? It's going to be dark soon. You best leave now, Naruto-kun. You can come anytime you feel like it," she said with a smile. "After all, what sort of godmother would I be otherwise?"

The blond tried to stand up but failed. His legs had become numb from disuse, so after a few more attempts he finally succeeded and bid the Uchihas good-bye. "Thank you for inviting me to your house, Uchiha-sama, and Sasuke."

"It was my pleasure."

Naruto had just had a very informative day.

* * *

 **Omake**

"I am not really sure if we should be here, Sasuke."

The blond trailed behind the Uchiha, constantly rethinking and trying to convince him that this direction took him to an unsavoury area that even he hadn't explored.

"But the Uchiha I overheard said that it was amazing! Even better than tomatoes!"

"Right… but it's your funeral if anything happens."

The duo continued until Sasuke broke the silence.

"Naruto? What is that…?"

The blond looked at where the boy was squinting at and discovered a woman who was scantily dressed and was strangely missing a top.

"That," Naruto informed him, "is a partially naked woman. I presume that this is the red-light district of Konoha and that she works here."

Sasuke walked forward, a bit hesitant.

"You know, we could always turn back..."

"Never!" gritted out the boy. "An Uchiha never surrenders."

Naruto walked along the number of people of both sexes scantily clad increasing exponentially. This would have fazed most people, but the blond was nowhere near normal.

His [Gamer's Mind] saw to that.

The Uchiha didn't have such an ability.

Naruto walked into Sasuke just as he passed out.

 _Since I'm already here, I might as well map out this area for future reference._

The boy with the Uchiha in tow walked around the place. In Konoha, no one ever made it illegal for minors to enter a red-light district. Whoops.

* * *

 **R &R (Suggestions and advice are always welcome!)**


	7. Graduation Day

_"We bore fruit and the lady partook in't. A piece of our soul wast bestowed upon that lady and through her: her children and their children too._ _They spread the word; others too, joined in communion."_

\- The Book of Log

* * *

 **C7: Graduation Day**

 **Beta Reader: Izaranna**

* * *

"Settle down everyone!"

Most were walking the fine line between determination and mental breakdowns; the rest were giggling madly in their corners, rocking back and forth.

Today was the day that would decide their _destinies_.

The entire class sat down with trepidation for what was to come.

"Each and every single one of you has worked hard all these years, all for this day. Graduation day. You will be getting all your results tomorrow."

Iruka paused and swept his gaze across the classroom, noticing the fear and resolve on every student's visage.

"The first test will be on the history of Konoha, a two and a half hour long test. "

All the students became quiet as Umino Iruka and Mizuki handed out the test papers. It would be inaccurate to call them papers as there were enough pages to give a textbook a run for its money.

"The test will begin at 9:00 AM and end at 11:30 AM," said Iruka, he glanced at the clock and waited until the minute hand struck twelve.

"You can begin now. Good luck with the test."

Naruto opened his booklet and cast a glance at the other students. No student sat next to one another, an empty chair between them.

Having maxed out his writing skill, he managed to finish the entire paper in forty-five minutes. It was mostly multiple choice questions, with only the last ten pages requiring actual writing.

The blond went to sleep, making sure to prop himself in a position which made it look like as if he was writing on the paper. He didn't want to get disturbed unnecessarily, after all.

* * *

The Uzumaki was alone when he woke up. He looked down the aisle and saw Iruka-sensei approaching him.

"Naruto! I've been calling you since lunch began. I can't let you have any more time."

The man grabbed the test paper from the table and looked at it, horror evident in his eyes.

"This is…"

The chunin gave Naruto an annoyed look. "You slept through the second test, didn't you?"

The blond gulped.

"You won't be having a retest, Naruto," said an exasperated Iruka-sensei with a sigh. "Sleeping on the job is a _bad_ idea, especially in our profession. Have your lunch—the next test will be held outside."

As Naruto walked off, he heard Iruka-sensei mutter, "I mean, I thought he might, but I never thought he _actually would_ …"

The next test was an obstacle course, but not just _any_ obstacle course.

It was one that, not only increased in difficulty the further you went through it, but it also replicated various conditions and climates all across the Elemental Nations.

Every single person had to find a scroll and carry it all the way to the finishing line. People were ranked by how many scrolls they had; the highest would be the winner, while the lowest would fail.

Naruto decided to go straight to the finish line after finding his scroll but was interrupted thrice by kids who had decided to team up to give themselves an advantage. It seemed to be the norm.

He managed to take all of their scrolls, which gave him a total of six scrolls when he reached the finishing line. The person with the most number of scrolls was Sasuke, who held ten of them, which only left a total of eighteen for the rest of the class.

It was on this cheerful note that the class of twenty-four dispersed for the rest of the day. Well, except Kato, who'd failed miserably and had to be scraped off the ceiling with Iruka-sensei's crowbar—some people just don't know how to let go.

Sasuke smirked.

* * *

The next day started with the ninja theory examination, which went on for three hours. It covered Taijutsu, Genjutsu, Bukijutsu, Ninjutsu and Field Preparation, the latter covering emergency first aid and trap setting/evasion.

After the test, everyone had an hour long well-deserved break, after which began their practical ninja skills assessment.

It began with Taijutsu; everyone had to demonstrate the academy kata. Naruto was happy that there was no sparring—his strength stats were atrocious. He barely levelled up as is and he tried dumping all his stats into strength, but sadly, two level ups don't yield many points.

After that came the Bukijutsu assessment: kunai and shuriken were thrown at targets that started large and then started to move and then began shrinking and then started moving more erratically and quickly—by the end of it, Ruruka lost her left pinky toe.

Much screaming ensued.

With every single skill maxed out—the Academy was _boring,_ and Naruto had a _lot_ of time on his hands—the Bukijutsu, Field Preparation and Ninjutsu assessment were a piece of cake.

Which Akimichi Chouji had deigned to eat too.

* * *

The blond woke up the next day with a stinging head-ache. He was greeted with a message that would change his life.

 **SYSTEM UPDATE 42.0 HAS BEEN DOWNLOADED ONTO YOUR SYSTEM. 50% INSTALLED.**

"What…?" Naruto's eyes narrowed in confusion.

 _Has my ability…changed?_

"Status," muttered the blond, intent on getting to the bottom of this situation.

A screen appeared in front of him.

 ** _Name:_** _Uzumaki Naruto_

 ** _Class:_** _The Gamer_

 ** _Title:_** _Academy Student (+ 50% EXP gain until level 5, then 25% until level 10; Max Scroll Ranking: Low D)_

 ** _Level:_** _4_

 ** _Affiliation:_** _Konoha_

 ** _Health Points:_** _40,050/40,050_

 ** _Chakra Points:_** _40,090/40,090_

 _ **Chakra Control:**_ _95%_

 ** _Vitality:_** _5_

 ** _Wisdom:_** _5_

 ** _Strength:_** _2_

 ** _Dexterity:_** _4_

 ** _Intellect:_** _8_

 _ **Faith**_ _: 1_

 ** _Luck: 100_**

 ** _Stat Points:_** _0_

 ** _Ryo:_** _800_

Naruto's eyes widened as he took in his stats.

 _What is that health? And that chakra? Why are they all so high? This bears further research…maybe it is common? An inflation of numbers..._

Naruto looked at the rest of them with a mixture of joy and anger.

 _They have all been… reallocated? Intellect has decreased considerably, but it's now more spread out. And what is 'Faith'? I mean, I know what it is, but it's new! Strange… the rest are all the same. Hmm, what about the status effects and skills?_

The blond called them out one by one and saw that they hadn't changed majorly—the layout was more aesthetically pleasing but other than that, it seemed that the update was useless.

Now, only one remained.

"Inventory."

Although the strange voodoo-doll-like figurine of Naruto was still present, surrounding it were boxes arranged organically and sensibly, a far cry from the previous arrangement. He could even see their names if he tapped them.

The blond sighed in relief, happy that, at long last he could actually make sense of what before had been a muddle of unlabelled boxes. To the side of the arrangement was a box with a tab that said 'All' and next to that tab were many others that further specified the item he was looking for. He looked at his inventory and saw its meagre contents, but at the top of the window was something new.

 **Equipment Load: 10.5/31.25**

 _Equipment load?_

He tapped it.

 _It restricts the amount I can carry in my inventory and in real…life. This is actually pretty bad. If I reach the maximum, I have to drop the items that are increasing the weight. This is not good, not good at all._

Naruto looked at the time. It was time to leave. Briskly, the blond walked to the school, fearful of what was to come. Missing an entire test would not be easy on his overall grade.

He opened the classroom door and was greeted with the laughter and crying of children.

Looking past them, he saw the scoreboard and a list of the people who had passed the exam, in alphabetical order. The blond only had eyes for the highest scorers and the clan children.

 **Uchiha Sasuke: 93.5%**

 **Theory: 94% Physical: 93%**

 **Nara Shikamaru: 89%**

 **Theory: 100% Physical: 78%**

 **Hyuuga** **Hinata** **: 88%**

 **Theory: 80% Physical: 96%**

 **Aburame Shino: 84%**

 **Theory: 80%, Physical: 88%**

 **Uzumaki Naruto: 79.5%**

 **Theory: 65% Physical: 94%**

 **Haruno Sakura: 79%**

 **Theory: 98% Physical: 60%**

 **Akimichi Chouji: 75.5%**

 **Theory: 68%, Physical: 83%**

 **Inuzuka** **Kiba** **: 74.5%**

 **Theory: 64% Physical: 85%**

 **Yamanaka Ino: 62.5%**

 **Theory: 70% Physical: 55%**

His blunder had cost him 35% from his theory. The blond was fuming on the inside, angry at himself for having lost so many points, but at least the physical portion was acceptable. He had lost marks for not having enough strength to back-up his techniques, but they were judging their technique, not its applicability in battle.

Naruto looked at Sasuke who was also unhappy. However, unlike Naruto, it was because he was not the top at any of the examinations, being the perfectionist he is. Sasuke's HUD numbers were inflated like Naruto's, and with a quick glance, he noticed that that was so for everyone else.

 ** _Name:_** _Uchiha Sasuke_

 ** _Rank:_** _Academy Student (+ 50% EXP gain until level 5, then 25% until level 10; Max Scroll Ranking: Low D)_

 ** _Level:_** _5_

 ** _Affiliation:_** _Konoha (Medium); Uchiha (Strong)_

 ** _Health Points:_** _45,000/45,000_

 ** _Chakra Points:_** _40,000/40,000_

 _ **(?):**_ _Lightning Nature (First); Fire Nature (Second); Sharingan (Dormant)_

 _Two elemental natures and a dormant bloodline limit…_

He had already come to the conclusion that the reason Sasuke had two was simply because of the amount he'd practiced Fire Jutsu.

The Uchiha noticed Naruto and gestured to him.

"I can't believe you actually slept through the exam, Naruto."

His eyes widened a fraction. "How do you know that?"

"Everyone's talking about it," Sasuke smirked.

The blond sighed.

"It's not too bad. At least you didn't get the bottom mark," Sasuke unhelpfully consoled.

Naruto opened his mouth to reply, but just then, the door slammed open.

"Hello, kids!" began Mizuki who had just entered the class. "You can all go home now. Come back tomorrow to be sorted into teams."

All the kids started filtering out.

"Let's go Naruto," muttered Sasuke. "To my place? Or do you want to do something else?"

Naruto got up glumly. The Uchiha looked at the boy and smirked.

"You really have changed. I remember a couple of years back, I'd have a better chance of getting a Nekomata's paw print than make you show any emotion. Now look at you! _Sulking._ " Sasuke laughed triumphantly. "I'm such a good teacher!"

As the boys made their way to the door, they were intercepted by Mizuki.

"Sasuke-kun, how about you go along? I need to… talk with Naruto. It might take a while."

The black-haired boy looked at Naruto who nodded his acceptance. Sasuke left them with a curious backwards glance.

The classroom was empty.

The only thing that could be heard was the muted rustling of the wind and the distant sounds of footsteps and children.

"I take it that you aren't happy with your score?" drawled Mizuki. The blond just nodded, the wound still smarting.

"Well, it's a good thing then that we have a special test just for students like you, who've had _extenuating_ circumstances affect their grades. In fact, it's a test for the… _gifted_ ," divulged the instructor.

The blond repeated, "The gifted?"

"Yes, all you need to do is to infiltrate the Hokage residence and get the 'Scroll of Sealing'. It's a dummy scroll containing the weaker versions of the Forbidden Jutsu, of course, but it'll be guarded like the real thing."

Naruto hesitated. "What do I get out of it, besides a better ranking?"

Mizuki smirked slyly. "Cool jutsu, placement on the _best_ team, a cool story to tell your grandchildren…the whole deal."

Naruto swallowed every single word he said, "Cool Jutsu, huh?"

 _It sounds perfectly reasonable—it_ is _a secret test after all, so it's only natural I've never heard about it._

"Do you accept the mission?"

Just before Naruto could reply, a screen appeared.

 **[B] Graduation Day? :**

 **Is this too good to be true? A test for the best! If it's given to you by a superior, surely it can't be wrong? After all, you always have to follow those above you in rank, no matter what! That's the law, isn't it?**

 **Objectives:**

 **Steal the [Scroll of Sealing] from the Hokage's residence**

 **Escape Safely**

 **Reach the secret location**

 **Learn Forbidden Jutsu**

 **Give the scroll to Mizuki**

 **Completion Award:**

 **Rank: Rogue Nin**

 **10,000 EXP**

 **Completion Failure:**

 **If obj.1, obj.2, obj.3 and obj.4 is complete, -40 REP with Clan [Sarutobi] and probation for three months.**

 **Else: Dependant on situation**

 **Accept?**

 **Yes or No**

Naruto did a double take at the completion award and failure.

 _He's trying to trick me!_

The blond, for the first time in his life, tapped 'No'. Immediately after, he was greeted with another screen.

 **[B] Graduation day? :**

 **Looks like you have wised up to Mizuki's evil plans. Be a good little ninja and inform the Hokage about it.**

 **Objectives:**

 **Escape Mizuki's suspicion**

 **Inform and convince the Hokage about Mizuki's defection**

 **Convince the Hokage to let you deal with it**

 **Reach the secret location**

 **Directly/Indirectly incapacitate Mizuki**

 **Completion Award:**

 **5,000 XP**

 **Rank [B] mission added to portfolio**

 **Completion Failure:**

 **If obj.1 is failed, possible death and dismemberment**

 **If obj.2 is failed, -10 REP with Sarutobi Hiruzen**

 **If obj.3 and or obj.4 are failed, instant quest failure with no penalties.**

 **If obj.5 is failed, possible death, dismemberment, [?] extraction and experimentation.**

 **Accept?**

 **Yes or No**

Naruto glared at the screen. Being forced into accepting such a deadly mission wasn't something he was happy with, but the consequences of not accepting were too dire.

"I accept," the blond tapped the screen and answered Mizuki's question. The man was staring at him strangely.

"Right…you'll need to infiltrate the Hokage's Office to get the keys to the residence too."

The man grabbed Naruto's shoulder and shunshin'd away with the boy in tow.

"This is where we'll meet up." The man pointed at the floor in the middle of the forest. "I'll be right here."

Naruto nodded and started walking away. He heard a pinging noise a couple of minutes later, signalling the completion of an objective. The boy smiled and continued walking towards the Hokage's office.

No one stopped him. Why would they? He frequently visited the Hokage, after all. Naruto knocked on the door and heard the familiar voice of his grandfather figure allowing him to enter.

"Ah, Naru-chan! What can I do for you? You seem to be tense. Is something wrong?"

The blond quickly sat down on the chair in front of the old man.

"Jiji, I need to tell you something. Today, I was approached by Mizuki-sensei, who told me that he wanted me to help him get a forbidden scroll."

Sarutobi Hiruzen nodded sagely.

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "You knew?"

"No, but I had my suspicions. If I remember correctly, when you were younger, probably on one of the days you weren't in my office, we'd heard about him suffocating one of his teammates to death. If that isn't a sign of a messed up mind, then I'll eat my hat."

The man sighed and then continued speaking. "So what do you want to do, Naruto? Do you want any help in incapacitating him, or do you think you can do it?"

The shock was evident on Naruto's face. "How did you….?"

He chuckled. "I have known you since you were born. You have that determined face, the same kind you made after I told you that children can't fly, and you decided to jump out of the window to prove me wrong."

Naruto blushed.

"I trust you to do this correctly, Naruto. Consider it a mission, a low-risk B-rank mission. You may use whatever resources you can gather, however, I think you already have a path that you know you need to follow."

The boy nodded.

"Go, and good luck."

Naruto was moved by the Hokage's faith in him. "Thanks, Jiji! You are the best! I need the keys to your mansion, by the way, to get the scroll."

The Hokage opened one of his drawers and took out a key.

"I presume you remember where that room is?"

"Yes."

"Don't lose it and try your best to not let anyone else know about this. Asuma will probably be tense after the Jounin meeting we all had only an hour ago. I'd rather not see you in a body bag."

Naruto chuckled as he left.

* * *

The blond stealthily infiltrated the Hokage Mansion and approached the room that held the scroll—or at least he thought it did; he'd been prevented from entering it when he was younger. Suddenly, he heard footsteps and quickly, with little to no wasted time, entered the room.

It was ordinary and filled with beige boxes.

 _One of them must hold the secret scroll. I just have to find it_.

He dug through all the boxes until he found, at last, one that had something in it.

He opened it and found a magazine filled with lewd pictures.

The boy deadpanned and put it back, turning around to leave, mentally going through all the other possible rooms the scroll may have been relocated to. Just as he reached the door, he tripped over a loose floorboard, hitting his funny bone hard and stifling a moan of agony.

When he bent over to get a good look at his abuser, he noticed that the floorboard was patterned differently to the rest of the boards; it was only a minute one, but enough to arouse his suspicion. Naruto yanked it loose and unearthed a scroll.

It had two lines written on it.

 _I see that you thought it would be this easy, Naru-chan? I'm actually testing you to see whether you've got what it takes to be a good shinobi. Have fun! I'll give you a clue, though:_

 _Fig, Friendship and Flight._

The blond was stumped.

 _What kind of clue is that?_

The boy decided to escape the place, but the sound of approaching footsteps gave him pause.

 _No, no, no. I can't be found! Think, think…think! What do I do? I need to hide!_

The boy looked around.

 _Ah, perfect._

Naruto picked up one of the larger boxes and folded it apart with a deft hand. He muttered **[Disguise]** which made the box gain the appearance of his surroundings.

He lifted it up to hide himself and stuck himself to a spot right behind the door. That very door slammed open, injuring Naruto and making him loose a chunk of his health. He was glad that if he received an injury to any one part of his body, the pain was evenly spread throughout the whole; he'd probably have gotten a concussion otherwise.

He made a quick note never to hide behind a door again.

The man entered. The stench of smoke lingered on him, more pungent than his father's. The man looked around and noticed all the boxes had collapsed. With a cursory glance around the room, he left.

Naruto quickly got out, barely able to hold in the blood that had welled up in his mouth.

The moment he had reached a safe place, he spat it all out.

"That was awful."

The boy massaged his stomach. He felt awful all over his body. It was very close call, he realised. He needed to think. Figure out how to get the scroll and _fast—_ for some reason, he felt that it was imperative he found the scroll sooner rather than later.

The blond tried to focus. This came naturally to him due to his **[Gamer's Mind]** skill.

 _Where would anyone keep such an important scroll? Where would I keep an important scroll?_

 _At the bottom of a river! Wait no, the village would never do that, so it probably is in….. An abandoned place—no the village has a special place for keeping forbidden things, for whatever reason, hmm._

The boy had somehow ended up near a seat and so, decided to sit on it.

 _Do I even know where it is? It's probably hidden. Maybe it's in an area that is purposely blanked out in the Konoha maps so, to find its location out, I would have to…_

 _Yes! I see._

The boy mentally ran through every map of Konoha he had ever glanced at and began to compare them.

 _Maps 1 to 5 depicts the Land of Fire with Konoha since its inception, around a hundred years ago. Their scales need to be adjusted as it's updated every twenty years or so…_

The Uzumaki mentally adjusted the scales.

 _None of them have any discrepancies…or do they?_

Naruto sat up straight.

 _The scales, yes the village should be… around 5% larger on the left according to this map. The past maps and annexed land during the wars from treaties and missions and what not point to that being the case._

 _Yes! In that map, that area is all farms! It would make sense if they disguised the place as farms… might as well check it out. I refuse to give up! That's not how I roll. I can do this!_

Naruto tightened his fists in a gesture of determination and stood up.

He ran all the way, stopping every once in a while to catch his breath. He reached the outskirts of the village—the farmland, a place he had never really visited because, while they were a part of Konoha, it was implicitly understood to be private.

As he walked through the dirt path, a screen materialised.

 **Genjutsu Detected and Neutralised**

The blond smiled as the air shimmered and gave way to a seemingly inconspicuous hut.

 _Hmm, a hut? To distract people probably, even if they managed to break through the genjutsu._

Naruto tried to enter the hut but was blocked by a door which had a keypad on it. The door, walls and roof were very hard and strong, Naruto knew that he would not be able to break it down—the force required would probably destroy all the scrolls inside.

The door was password protected.

Naruto was stumped. He went through everything he could think of and then decided to ponder the clue that the Hokage had given him. _Fig, friendship and flight._

The boy went through his memories, trying to find anything that he associated with these words.

 _Wait a second, Jiji mentioned me trying to fly when I was younger. The password only takes numbers. Perhaps… maybe._

The blond typed in the dates that he had first encountered those three words. The first day he ate a fig, the first time he made a friend and the first time he tried to fly.

The keypad shone green and the door slid open to reveal a veritable treasure trove of scrolls. Sadly, however, the scroll he was looking for was nowhere to be found. Luckily, his HUD did not fail him; it indicated the presence of another genjutsu and neutralised it.

Without hesitation, the Uzumaki opened the **[Scroll of Sealing]** , which had shimmered into view. His eyes widened. There were hundreds of Jutsu in that scroll!

 _I have to learn one of these at the very least—this is a once in a lifetime opportunity!_

"What to choose, what to choose? There are too many…and they're probably dangerous too, but so many of these could be useful…I can't decide!"

The boy tried to think but was interrupted by a voice.

" **I can help you.** "

The voice was deep. It belied an age that the blond couldn't even fathom, like lava coursing through the veins of the earth…soothing, pulsating, _deadly_.

A figure materialised next to Naruto, an almost exact replica of himself, with a few key differences. For one, the apparition had long crimson hair and deep red eyes, haunting and old. More than that, there was something… _wrong_ with its face, like as if it was a mask hiding something rawer, more frightening, more _primal_.

With a reverent whisper, Naruto asked, "Who are you?"

" **Me?** " The figure pointed to himself. " **I…** "

It paused, letting the letter linger in the air.

"… **am known by many names, but for your purposes, I am The Guide and, as my name suggests, my purpose is to guide you through the inner workings of the Gamer ability, among other things.** "

"Where were you before, when I actually needed it?"

The guide laughed mockingly. " **You presume to blame me for my predecessor's shortcomings, mortal? I am far superior to that worthless artificial monkey. I am, I believe the human term is, more** _ **proactive**_ **."**

The blond's face steeled, he didn't really like The Guide.

"You know what, I feel like dismissing you."

" **NO! If you dare to…!** " it yelled. At seeing the blond's face, though, he quickly changed his tone.

" **I mean…it's awful. Please don't,** " he pleaded, fear evident on his face.

Naruto looked confused. "Why?"

" **The pain is unbearable. I'll be quiet…just, don't dismiss me."**

"Why should I trust you?"

The Guide looked like he'd swallowed a lemon, and he grumpily admitted, " **I can't lie, while I'm the Guide.** "

The Uzumaki's suspicion still hadn't left his face. "So then…what's your name?"

The figure gritted his teeth and bit out, " **Kurama** ".

The boy grinned and fired question after question.

"Where are you from?"

Kurama deadpanned. " **The universe**."

The blond's smile dropped—he had already figured out that the guide wasn't planning on answering the questions in detail. He could press him for more information, but what was the point? A moments gratification (and risk alienating The Guide) or having access to a vital source of information?

Naruto decided to ask him a few more questions. "Do you mean me harm?"

" **Within the foreseeable future, no.** "

"So eventually?"

" **I can't harm you as The Guide.** "

"Were you always The Guide?"

" **No.** "

The blond looked at him and sighed.

"Fine, so what do you think? Which jutsu should I learn?"

Kurama grinned. " **As I'm sure your feeble human brain must have comprehended, the more you learn, the greater the difficulty level of the Game. Learn just one, and your life will be…slightly easier."**

Naruto stared at him. In confusion or disbelief, the figure didn't know so he elaborated.

" **If you learn something that will make life easier for you, life will become harder to compensate**."

"Why?"

Kurama looked at the heavens in askance, before muttering a few cuss words and explaining impatiently, " **Blame the Creator. The Gamer ability is constantly being updated. Too many psychopaths, idiots, and grumpy cat-ladies for the system manager's liking, so to make his job a bit more interesting for the Creator, he made your life harder. Yes, I enjoy your pain, puny mortal. Much more than you can ever comprehend."**

Naruto ignored Kurama's leer. "So my life gets harder if I do something to make it easier, to maintain equilibrium?"

Kurama rolled his eyes. **"Sure, brat. Make it sound stupider. Who am I to stop the degeneration of human intellect?"**

"That sucks."

The Guide looked at him with barely hidden contempt. **"You suck."**

The blond looked back at the scroll, ignoring him completely.

 **Which Jutsu do you want to learn? (Warning: Some Jutsu can cause negative status affects.)**

 **Shadow Clone Jutsu – Create a solid clone of yourself! Bonus: when it is dispersed, sends back any information it has learned to you. Versatile applications. _Side-effects: may explode a non-Gamer's brain from information overload._**

 **Eight Trigrams Seal – Seal a [Biiju] into a human – Symbiotic relationship with container created. Requires Master Sealing [Max Level].**

 **Ninja Art: Soul Drain – Steal souls of animals – Gain their abilities and genes. _Side-effects: Brain damage, schizophrenia, loose bowel movement._**

 **Jiongu – Permanently transforms the user into a [Jiongu], a being made of thick black threads, capable of sewing body parts and nerves together and even stealing other people's hearts thereby learning their Jutsu and, if levelled up enough, their [?]. _Side-effects: Permanent body change, no functioning reproductive system, chances of getting laid reduced by 98%, your face might frighten children._**

 **Body Switch – Switches the soul in the user's body with the targets…permanently. _Side-effects: Out of body experiences._**

 **Suicide – The Jutsu forces all of the user's chakra out of his body killing him instantly. **_**Side-effects: Death… that's it, what did you want? To poop butterflies and fart rainbows? That's another Jutsu in this scroll!**_

 **Reverse Summoning Technique – Transports user into a different species' personal habitat. May be hostile, may be friendly. It's a 50-50. _Side-effects: diarrhea, athlete's foot, being chewed to death, bitten to death, swallowed to death, tickled to death, punned to death, just…just death. All the death. Praise the good death._**

The scroll seemed to go on endlessly.

Naruto could easily see why most of the jutsu were forbidden; permanent disfigurement and/or death wasn't the best way to survive. Also, whoever wrote this was clearly down with the drugs.

"Seriously, who would want to become a ghost? They are so scary!" he said to no one in particular.

 _Now, what to pick?_

The blond was in a pickle; from the jutsu he had checked out, only the Shadow Clone didn't cause any major problems, but he wouldn't be able to even use it until he got more chakra.

"Tell me, Kurama. Which jutsu can I use without causing myself permanent damage?"

Silence reigned for a few minutes. Kurama muttered, **"None, idiot child,"** before saying, " **Well, that one."**

The Uzumaki looked at the one he was pointing at. "Eight Gates Release? Do you want me to die!?"

" **All things in moderation, dimwit. If you're sensible about it…actually, on second thoughts, that's asking for too much. This one then."**

Naruto looked at the jutsu almost three-quarters of the way down the scroll. "Elemental Mastery? It said it takes six years, and even then I might not get it! It says here I might turn into a girl halfway through! Or a frog! I don't know which one is worse!"

" **Actually, it says toad, but it's not like** _ **I**_ **can read. Idiot. Your Gamer ability fixes that problem."**

Naruto waited for Kurama to elaborate, but The Guide just stared at him with boredom. "How?" asked Naruto finally.

Kurama pinched the bridge of his nose. **"Fine, don't use your brain. Ahem, this jutsu is similar enough to another skill set that the system manager won't notice, so you won't turn into a girl. Or a toad. Although, maybe then you might be more bearable."**

"So…what's the catch?"

" **You live?"** Kurama bitterly reminded himself. **"It will make you learning any elemental ninjutsu redundant. Of course, you** _ **can**_ **learn them, but you might as well not. They all level up at the same slow rate, even the D-rank ones, so they're basically useless until you acquire this skill."**

Naruto sat on the floor and thought about it. Which one would be best? He tried remembering any details, anything at all about these jutsu. He could remember a Jounin who could release his own limiters—the Green Beast of Konoha, Maito Gai—but he couldn't recall anyone who had absolute mastery over the elements.

After a couple of minutes, the boy decided to go with the mastery option. If he really wanted to learn how to open the eight gates, he could always ask Jiji to help him out with it, or that Jounin.

 _Now, how to go about this? Er…perhaps I should just try copying down everything about it onto a piece of paper and then burn it?_

Doing just that, he barely had to wait a second before a message popped up.

 **(?)[Elemental Mastery] has been added to the user database. Level: 1/100**

He then placed the scroll in his inventory, realising that he literally had no space left for even a thimble anymore. Naruto really needed to get rid of the things he had been collecting all these years...starting with this pocky stick…

He happily munched on it as he walked out of the hut. _If only they made ramen sticks…pocky doesn't taste as amazing._

* * *

Somewhere in the Land of Wind, Uchiha Itachi had the sudden urge to kill a blond twelve year old for insulting his favourite snack. He looked around and realised that the closest one was the Kazekage's daughter and so, he schooled his emotions. It wouldn't do to cause an international incident. The Hokage wouldn't be pleased.

But then, Lady Amaterasu _would_ be.

 _To kill or not to kill, that is the question..._

* * *

Naruto had to think of a way to incapacitate Mizuki.

As he walked through the main street, he noticed a movement in the corner of his eye.

By the time he reached the bend, he saw the Anbu and _grinned_.

As he crossed the bridge, he pulsed his chakra and signalled his predicament to them—Mizuki wouldn't know what hit him.

Naruto arrived at the clearing and took out the scroll, moving out into the open so that Mizuki could see him.

Mizuki could barely contain his glee at the sight of the defenceless student in front of him, and revelled in the weak child's trust in him. "Well done Naruto! Now, give me the scroll and your mission will be complete. We'll go over to Hokage-sama after this, and he won't be able to deny that you deserve better!"

The blond handed him the scroll, while scratching his back.

 _Kids these days have no respect for their betters! Scratching his back, when he should be paying full attention to me…!_

As the man took the scroll from Naruto, he felt his arm stop mid-way. He couldn't control his body.

The Anbu appeared. Mizuki was surrounded and paralysed.

He had underestimated the boy, thinking that since he was a stickler for the rules, he must be gullible.

The masked ninja looked at the blond, almost in unison and one of them spoke.

"Naruto-sama? May we take the scroll back to Hokage-sama?"

Naruto nodded back and gestured his thanks. He was the only Anbu the blond couldn't recognise.

"You're new, I take it?"

The Anbu looked taken aback. He had heard about the boy's prowess since he had joined the Anbu corps, but being able to recognise a new recruit on sight wasn't something he was expecting.

"Hai!"

The boy handed him the scroll, "Here, take it."

Naruto looked at everyone. "I thank all of you for helping me with this mission and I hope I haven't given you too much trouble."

All the Anbu nodded and then disappeared. All except for one—Yugao-nee-chan.

"Yugao-nee?"

She nodded and said, "You've grown up so much." Underneath her mask, she grinned. "You even used a contraction for once!"

The blond smiled.

"I don't have long, but let me tell you something real quick. I think you'll like your new sensei!"

Naruto asked her to tell him who it was, but she kept mum about it. "Let's just say that he's someone you know very well."

The blond prepared himself to wheedle answers out of her, but was interrupted by a quick 'see you around' and a puff of smoke.

The blond coughed out blood. Ah, it seemed that the door had done more damage than he'd previously assumed… _looks like my ability doesn't tell me everything…_

* * *

 **R &R (Suggestions and advice are always welcome!)**


	8. Team 7

_"Today I had an epiphany. I decided that it would be better to release this chapter today. What better birthday present for myself than to give all of you a new chapter!_ _"_

\- The Author

* * *

 **C8: Team 7**

 **Beta Reader: Izaranna**

* * *

Naruto was sitting on a picnic chair on a random street in Konoha, munching on some Takoyaki.

The saccharine sauces and the tender octopus tentacle in the centre of a soft doughy ball were little parcels of delight to his senses, perfect for washing away last night's bitter blood-soaked nightmares' aftertaste.

The boy was deep in thought, trying to figure out what the team divisions would be like, until a message accompanied by a ringing noise appeared, informing him that he had only five minutes to reach the Academy.

He got up and walked.

He was in no rush…who was he kidding?

The Uzumaki ran like his life depended on it.

* * *

He threw open the doors, nearly tearing them off their hinges, prompting everyone to stare at him as if he were crazy.

But he didn't mind, if the ear-to-ear grin had anything to say about it—he'd made it on time after all.

"PRESENT!"

Umino Iruka was not amused. "Uzumaki Naruto! Where have you been?!"

The boy didn't even lie, so glad was he to have made it on time, if only _just_. "I was eating Takoyaki and lost track of time."

The Chunin looked defeated. "Just…just go to your seat Naruto."

Naruto sat on the empty seat Sasuke saved for him and quickly fell asleep when Iruka went into a long-winded spiel on how many more responsibilities ninjas had compared to civilians. Although he had slept many times on the _almost_ comfy rock-hard oak chairs, dreams in the Academy were rare, and this one all the more so.

 _The room gave Naruto a headache._

 _Bright yellow colours swished and swirled all around him, weaving in and out of the non-being… everything lacked any sort of depth. Thumping noises in the background and distant echoes of voices, indiscernible in the vast emptiness and buzzing—Naruto wanted to vomit, his stomach pulsating, crawling its way up his food pipe, climbing and squeezing the flesh inside. In fact, it wasn't just the noises—the entire world was moving, beating like a heart—_ _ **thump thump thump—**_ _like a gigantic 2D sack._

 _No substance, no—_ my head hurts _—why was he here? What—_ please make it stop—

 _An indistinct yellow figure twisted out of the pulsating walls, reaching out to him with sunbeams of existence. Just as it reached Naruto's hunched over form, the manifestation collapsed into sand and the colours, the walls, the heartbeat—_ _ **thump thump thump**_ **—** _receded, fading, falling, and he fell_

 _Down_

 _Down_

 _Down…_

* * *

Naruto yawned and stretched. It wasn't the first time he'd had such dreams; in fact, he could've almost sworn that he'd been in the same room before, but the colour had been different—blood red, like a tomato, or a chilli pepper…

He looked around to take in his silent surroundings. He was alone, except for Sasuke and a pink-haired girl – Haruno Sakura, his ability supplied – who was fidgeting with something in her hand.

"You're finally awake," muttered Sasuke. He was sitting right next to him, exactly where he'd been before the blond fell asleep.

"Indeed."

"And all by yourself? Seems like miracles _do_ happen."

The black-haired boy smirked, and in response, Naruto grinned. "You're on my team then?" he asked.

"Yes."

Naruto decided that he wanted to mess with Sasuke, and so, using Sasuke's greatest pet peeve, he looked around the room with exaggerated secrecy and then whispered, "Looks like everything is in good hands. I'm going back to sleep."

Sasuke growled, unamused at his friend's antics. "Don't you dare! I've been waiting for a whole _sixty minutes_ for our sensei to show up, and he _still_ hasn't—I refuse to suffer in solitude any longer! If you go back to sleep, _even Kami-sama won't save you._ "

Naruto was having fun with prissy Sasu-pants. "Why didn't you go do something else?" he asked innocently. "Like talking to _her_?"

"I _could_ , but _somebody_ was sleeping. Knowing you, you'd freak out at not having someone next to you and kill yourself, thinking it was 'the best course of action' because you read it in 'How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse in Six Simple Steps'."

The blond interjected, "Hey! Don't diss Sir David Attenborough. Whatever that means. He's a national treasure. Somehow."

Sasuke didn't even bother to deign that with a response. "You don't kill yourself to get rid of your problems! This is why I can't leave you alone! You with your Sir David whatever and your stupid books and your card games and your—"

"I'm not that bad!" Naruto protested.

Sasuke snarked, "Let's review, shall we? Last year, you woke up during lunch time when everyone was outside and immediately assumed that you were kidnapped and put in an inescapable Genjutsu."

"It could've happened."

"Naruto, you blew up the room."

"But—"

"We sat, without a wall, in this room. For. Months."

"It wasn't that bad!"

"IT WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER!"

"The snow wasn't _that_ cold…"

"This!" Sasuke said hysterically. "This is why no one likes you!"

Naruto laughed and then asked a very pressing question. "So… what happened while I was asleep?"

His best friend calmed himself down and replied, "The teams were obvious: Shikamaru is with his childhood besties under Sarutobi Asuma; Shino ended up with the dog and the Hyuuga child without a spine, and they have some woman as their sensei. _Our_ team, on the other hand, has _you_ , _me_ , and some girl who pays less attention in class than you do. And guess what? Our sensei is supposed to have one eye. You know what this means right? I'm screwed!"

Naruto silently went over all the names and then muttered, "You seriously couldn't be bothered to pay attention to any of the others could you?"

Sasuke responded with his patented unrepentant smirk. "Maybe you should have stayed awake. Honestly, I don't know _how_ you'd have survived education without me. You'd probably wake up on graduation day and forget what chakra was!"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, seriously. I don't know how I've inspired such loyalty in you."

"Damn straight," muttered the Uchiha. "Anyway, I'll go see our new teammate now cause you'll probably 'sleep on the job' again."

Naruto burst out, "That was ONE time! One!"

* * *

Sasuke hesitantly approached the pink haired girl. It was strange, he mused, that this was the first time he'd be attempting to start a conversation with any girl at all. Let alone the Haruno girl. She was strange, he knew.

Everyone knew.

It was as if the entire class was just one hive-mind with the Yamanaka girl being the one who spread most of the gossip around.

She was a civilian; her father was killed by a rogue ninja while en route to a festival at some local peasant village. Apparently, the man had been unlucky—a stray kunai just _an inch too close_ and his life was forfeit.

Sasuke was passively sympathetic about her backstory. He wouldn't want anything to happen to _his_ family.

The girl appeared to be sleeping. As he walked closer, he realised that she was actually wide awake—her fingers were moving rapidly and were enclosed around a square object.

"Umm, hello?" asked Sasuke. He had no idea how to begin normal conversations. He was far too used to Naruto's eccentricities to ever be normal again.

The girl replied almost immediately. "Just a sec."

And true to her word, only a second later, she opened her eyes, but she didn't stop moving her hands.

"Hello!" her voice was peculiar. It reminded him of…of…

"Itachi's flute…"

"I guess you're on my team then?" continued the girl exuberantly, completely ignoring his verbal slip up.

Sasuke responded slightly hesitantly, taken aback by the happiness in Sakura's voice. Naruto never spoke so happily, and that idiot was the happiest person he knew. It sounded almost… fake?

Like a mixture of deceit and truth. Kiba, Shino and even Shikamaru were nothing like her, that much was certain and they were his only points of reference, what with them being the only humans he talked to on a semi-regular basis. The potted tomato plant was a different story.

"Yes?"

"I think we'll do well together, ne?"

"I hope so," replied the boy, unsure of exactly what to say next.

"Let's see then!" She paused, before continuing. "Did it work?"

"What?" questioned Sasuke. He was confused, but he figured it had to do with what she was doing with her hands.

The girl opened up her hands to reveal a Rubik's cube.

"Perfect! It worked."

"What?"

"I was trying to see whether I could solve it without looking."

Sasuke immediately began to question the sanity of his fellow teammate.

 _What? Why on Earth would she even…. What? Rubik's cube. One of those ancient things that for some unexplained reason survived the test of time. She solved it without even looking. Itachi couldn't even solve it with a Sharingan!_

"Why?"

"I like challenging myself—cognitive training you know."

She started to look disinterested and began taking apart the cube.

The boy slowly backed away from Sakura. "Right…I'll leave you to it."

He had had enough of girls. If all of them were like this…he wasn't really cut out for society.

"Sure! Nice meeting you," chirped the girl back.

* * *

Naruto spied on his teammates. They were pretty funny.

His attention wavered quickly enough. He glanced up at the bars and words that floated above them; their statuses and a mugshot of their faces showing their current emotions were all open for him to see.

 ** _Name:_** _Haruno Sakura_

 ** _Rank:_** _Academy Student (+ 50% EXP gain until level 5, then 25% until level 10; Max Scroll Ranking: Low D)_

 ** _Level:_** _4_

 ** _Affiliation:_** _Konoha (Medium)_

 ** _Health Points:_** _35,000/35,000_

 ** _Chakra Points:_** _10,024/20,000_

 _ **(?):**_ _Earth Nature (First); Control Freak (100% Chakra Control (- 95%) to Jutsu Cost); Dissociative Chakra Disorder (Immunity to psychological effects and/or skills)_

Naruto looked at her stats. Her skills were something to behold, but the last one did make him worry slightly. A form of chakra that was separate from her, but still a part of her body? Is it like another personality, or something more sinister?

Sasuke snapped Naruto out of his musings. "Naruto? Are you awake?"

"Yes, yes I am."

"Good."

The Uchiha sat down next to the blond in silence.

"So then, how's everyone at home?"

"Well, since you last came a few months ago, nothing major has changed." Sasuke paused before continuing. "Let's see… Kaa-san's fine; Nii-san's been at home a lot more recently – he quit Anbu a few months ago—and Otou-san…"

Naruto looked slightly worried. "Is something wrong with him?"

Sasuke's mood took a downturn. "Well…Otou-san is kinda…a few of his close friends have gone MIA and he's been a bit…"

"Do you know where they went MIA?"

"Somewhere on the border of the Land of Rice and Iron, near the river that's in the Land of Fire. You know the place right?"

"Yeah. That sucks."

Naruto was just about to say more but he was interrupted by the appearance of Team Seven's Jounin instructor. His eyes narrowed as he read the man's status.

 ** _Name:_** _Hatake Kakashi_

 ** _Rank:_** _Jounin (+ 15% Damage when using Natural Elemental Affinities; +5 to all stats. Clearance Level: Jounin; +20 REP to Konoha [Citizens]; -20 REP to Cloud [Ninja] and Stone [Ninja]; Max Scroll Ranking: S-Rank)_

 ** _Level:_** _91_

 ** _Affiliation:_** _Konoha (Strong); Team 7[4_ _th_ _Gen] (Strong)_

 ** _Health Points:_** _910,006/910,006_

 ** _Chakra Points:_** _64,048/64,048_

 _ **(?):**_ _Lightning Nature (First); Water Nature (Second); Earth Nature (Third); Living Condenser (Use Water Vapor to do Water Jutsu); Transplanted Sharingan (Permanently On; Three Tomoe); Mangekyo Sharingan (Active)_

 _He's pretty good, almost at Jiji's level. I thought the Mangekyo Sharingan was just a myth made up by the Uchiha clan to make themselves sound cooler…you learn something new every day! He has the ability to use water vapour for his attacks just like the Niidaime….Average Anbu Chakra levels. He's probably an Anbu. Can't figure out who he is, though…I can't see their stats when they have the mask on, for some reason._

"Meet me on the roof," said the man before poofing out of existence. Naruto's eyes widened in realisation.

 _He's Nii-san! He looks like him, talks like him and walks like him, so obviously it's him! That explains why Yugao-nee said that I'd like my new sensei!_

"Let's go then Sasuke."

"Yeah, sure."

The two rose up and approached the door. Naruto stopped and turned around, remembering his third teammate.

"Are you coming? We should go up together. We're a team now, after all."

The girl looked up at the boy with a hint of confusion, but it quickly cleared away to reveal a happy countenance. She got up and followed her teammates, stowing away her Rubik's cube into one of the little pouches around her waist.

They walked in silence until Sasuke decided to break it. "If you don't mind me asking, why do you have that many pouches, Haruno-san?"

"Isn't it kinda obvious?"

Sakura opened one of the pouches and took out a kunai, twirled it around her pinkie finger and then put it back in, heavily exaggerating the movement.

"See? The kunai goes in here. I keep lots of stuff in them since the academy doesn't really like people carrying around bags. Tripping hazards they say, even though we're training to be ninjas…they still worry about lame things like that. I mean, I can't even store books in them which really sucks."

Sasuke had no idea what to say to the condescending, then just crazy, pronouncement, so he chose to go for his default response. "Cool story bro."

The trio reached the rooftop and sat on the steps in front of their new instructor.

"Ah, my cute little potential Genin hopefuls have arrived. How about we begin with something simple, hmm? Introduce yourselves: names, likes, dislikes and ambitions are fine," said the man a little too cheerfully.

There was complete silence. It was like time stood still; the birds stopped chirping and everyone was deathly immobile. Clearly, no one wanted to go first. The silence shrouded the rooftop for a good few minutes until the Uchiha spoke.

"Fine. I'll go first. Umm…I like tomatoes, rice balls, taking walks and training. I hate sweet things and natto beans. My ambition…survive puberty. Oh! And my name is Uchiha Sasuke."

The lone dark grey eye of their sensei widened an almost unnoticeable fraction to betray his surprise at the Uchiha not only going first but also being funny. Who knew there was more than one idiot in that clan?

Sakura decided to go next. "My name is Haruno Sakura! Nice to meet you! I love pickled plums and shiratama anmitsu. I really enjoy memorization and cognitive training."

She paused, unsure of what to say. "I hate…spicy food, I guess. My goal in life is to protect young children from being traumatised by violence, which is why I want to be a ninja!"

"I'm last, but don't think, Hatake-san, that you are off the hook. I like oshiruko, miso ramen, training and reading. And burning things. I _hate_ boredom. Like, a lot. My ambition is…"

 _That…is a really good question. Learn everything? Nah, that's an inevitability. Take over the world? Nah, too much paperwork. Mind currently drawing a blank…_

"Undecided," finished Naruto.

"You are seriously the most uninspired bunch I have ever met." The man paused for emphasis.

"I like it! You're my first team, so I really have no idea how to train you. The only training experience I have is…well. You'll see. Maybe. None of you seem very special from your descriptions, so let's say…the day after tomorrow at 9:00 AM, come to training ground three for survival training."

Kakashi waited patiently for someone to question him. No one did. Sighing, Kakashi muttered, "No fun at all…'why not tomorrow sensei!', well, excuse me for wanting a reaction. Silly genin. Stupid job. Don't even know _why_ I bother—"

 _Well, if they're not going to play their part, I'll play their part_ for _them. I'm on a schedule._

The man adopted a solemn and serious look, before continuing, "Well, seeing as you asked so politely, I'll tell you why the survival training isn't scheduled for tomorrow. We Jounin have _special_ stuff we need to do, like secret-secret meetings, and sneaky-sneaky doings. _Very_ secret. Yup. Don't ask me more, don't pester me! I can't tell you. I'm important!"

He poofed away, leaving a vintage rubber duck behind.

* * *

OMAKE

 **How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse in Six Simple Steps (Multipack cannot be sold separately. For best before, please contact Sir David Attenborough. Yes,** _ **that**_ **one.)**

 **Note: these easy top tips work with nearly every type of apocalypse, even the carnivorous peanut variety.**

Take a deep breath.

Exhale.

Find a piece of rope.

Find something to hang it off.

Knot the rope as shown in the diagram below.

Hang yourself.

 **Printed by Deadpool Inc.**

 **(Don't call us, we'll call you.)**

* * *

 **R &R (Suggestions and advice are always welcome!)**


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